The Smithee Awards Blog

Happy birthday Sultan! We just watched a fascinatingly dreadful movie for you.

And yes, IMDB spells the word "Vengeance" correctly. The opening credits and the DVD menu do not.
( Read... the Review of Venjence (sic)! )
I kind of want to sit through it again to see if it makes any more sense on a second viewing, but I don't know if it's worth the mental scarring.

for the Sultan today. Since he is such a fan of ninja movies, we've ripped The Mask of Venjence (spelling is all theirs) to watch. So far, I swear the lead is 'Fights with Scabbard' from Western Palace but alas, none of the characters are named and none of the names repeat and most of the names go by other names.

Ninja movies confuse me.

split up the movies. Part One: grypeseye, I am certain, can tell us what you get when the 91st-generation descendent of the Monkey King meets the 91st-generation descendant of the Pig Fairy.

Why, it's the (first) live-action film adaptation of Dragon Ball Z, none other than Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins.

I will have a full review after I get back from vacation (Iron Chef Smithee is West Coasting it for a week). Until then, I leave you with these words of wisdom from the film:

"Grandpa found me in the woods. I'm an orphan."
"Then that means ... you don't know who your parents are?"

drd2be. We've chosen Ice Spiders because we hear you love bugs! BTW, the spiders are the size of overstuffed ottomans.

Bologna virtuoso Oscar Mayer, the third of that name to head the Oscar Mayer Company, died today at the age of 95. Thank you Oscar(s) for saving the world from militant vegetarian trolls goblins.

Whilst googling around I found this bit of fun. That crazy Google! Sadly, it's just a small slice of the moon and none of the back side where we know the Bermuda Triangle empties out. Coincidence? Or Conspiracy?

The Devil Made Me Do It!
-YFNPN

Today is Count von Count's birthday! Not that Count von Count, but our Count von Count. Usually the third man at the Smithee counting table at Origins.

In honor of his birthday, we have Atragon all lined up, and ready to drop. And once it's fallen on us, and we've picked ourselves up off the floor, you'll get all the grim details. But not the Grim details, because those are for somebody else's birthday!

The real review of Man-Thing is a lot less exciting than the previous write-up. Because the movie was actually pretty darn good for a low-budget Marvel Comics adaptation.

( It was no Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. )
In general, it was a well-made middling-low-budget environmental-horror movie.

and stumbled across something that I first thought, "Uh oh, how did THAT get there?" Then I noticed who was posting it and said, "Oh. OK, I guess that's fine then, no need to hunt down any Smithee pirates." After that, I thought it would be kinda keen to throw up the video here but embedding has been disabled. This makes me sad so here's a rather not shiny link to the Youtubed Scott Shaw Origins Smithees 2007 video.

-YFNPN

This is a sort of informal Smithee Nite out month because we're going to be changing up the Smithee Nite concept just a tad. Saturday, July 4th is your last day to hang with the Smithee Crowd as part of "Smithee Nite Out" (the usual 8pm at the Corner Brewery in Ypsilanti). Come Saturday, July 32nd (what?) we'll be reorganizing Smithee Nite Out into Dinner and a Smithees. The only real difference being we'll be starting a whole lot earlier so you out of towners can conceivably make an evening of it and so the Earl, who is working nights now, can come for a bit as well. Stay tuned for more info on the revamp of Smithee Nite but for now, if you want to come hang and play some games, The Guru and your promotions Ninja will definitely be at the Brewery on Independence Day. Possibly with Vapor's Gambit in tow because we scored a (free!) second copy and have an awesome amount of track now.

SCREAMING! HOVERBOARD! RACING!

And you thought Hunter from Warriors of the 21st Century had a laughable pastime? According to Oregonlive.com chickens are contributing substantially to new fuel alternatives.
( Chicken Clicky )

No wonder that dirt bike won against the death semi.

Hello Smitheeites, happy End of Smithee 18. I’m still in Columbus and don’t have my full photo abilities with me so pics, which I took a goodly number of, will have to wait until we’re back home. The write up, however, can proceed apace.
( Smithee Clicky! (Now With PICS!!) )

…and remember
FOOLPROOF PLANS ARE HARD TO COME BY, SON!

-YFNPN

Mere hours separate us from presenting the final Smithee Show of the Smithee 18 season here in Columbus, OH. Once again, we'll be in our full glory at

7 P.M.

Tonight in Ballroom 3.

And now for a nap. For all of you Smitheeites at Origins, see you in about 3.5 hours.

-Your Friendly But Sleepy Promotions Ninja

Hello Hello! We're back on-line and in Columbus, Huzzah! We're still missing the full Smithee complement but by showtime -

Friday, June 26th
7pm
Ballroom 3

All of us should be in town. Meanwhile, if you want to hang and be creative, we're doing the Buttons in the Breezeway at 1pm until we're out of supplies or happy hour arrives (~5). Come say hello and make you a button. Now, We're off to get our stinkin' badges.

We are now just under 60 hours to show time and I'll be signing off the blog shortly to head to Columbus, leaving you all in the capable hands of our laptop-equipped promotional staff. Before I head out, though, I'll leave you all with the odd statistical quirk of this year's show: For the first time in 21 Smithee Awards ceremonies (including MegaMetas), there is no movie with four nominations. There are three with six, two with five, and seven with three, but no fours.

See you on the other side.

We haven't actually watched it yet, but I didn't think that should stop me from attempting a write-up of the movie in line for slyon's birthday. The one that most sounds like a porn. Man-Thing!

( Stroke that mouse button with your finger to enter here, for turgid throbbing textual prose. )

Good Monday to all you Smitheeites out there, it's time for the week of Show! Spam!

Smithee 18 at Origins Game Fair
Friday, June 26th: 7pm until we stick a fork in it (Midnight plus-ish)
BALLROOM 3
… … …
OK, so far that's sticking so let's hope we're not somewhere else by this afternoon. Hey, one whole weekend and we're still scheduled in the same room, things are looking up!

Speaking of up, the Buttons in the Breezeway box is all prepped and packed. Your Smithee Ninja was a very busy button pressing fool this weekend and I have 270 giveaway buttons for the grabbing if you are so inclined to get yourself a Smithee button. I'm usually found wandering the dealer's room at select times or if you catch any of the other Smith-ka-teers they usually have a supply of buttons to hand out. Or! You could come to the Buttons in the Breezeway event (Thursday, 1-5ish, somewhere in the breezeway. Hence the name) and color your own Smithee button and have it pressed while you ponder. How's that for unique?

Lastly, check out the twitter feed for up-to-dateness and other bits of info. We're planning on doing some tweeting this convention…because we can!

It's time for the badmovie birthday movie!

What's the swingingest cocktail you can get hip to on film?  Simple, baby!  Take one planeload of chorus girls with million dollar legs, one manly manager with a pencil-thin mustache, one sexy secretary and crash 'em all in the middle of the Pacific while en route to a gig in Singapore.  Don't worry!  Their raft will make it to Spider Island where hijinx will ensue.  In heels.  And with a jumpin' soundtrack.
( Dig it, Daddy-o! )

It took some doing, but all movies in the badmovie To Be Watched For Smithee Purposes Library are now linked to imdb (they live here, in the badmovie LJ). All movies ... except two. I simply cannot find Deadly Kung Fu Lady or Terminated anywhere in imdb. So maybe I should watch them, to eliminate the outliers. Kill the tabernacle!

Would the real Origins Smithee Awards room please stand up?
I repeat, Would the real Origins Smithee Awards room please stand up?

Hi again, this is your Promotions Ninja with the newest news about the change in room location. It looks like we've just been bounced back to Ballroom 3 as of this morning. We're still, also as of this morning, on at 7pm (which is different than the Origins Official posted 8pm - they are working on changing that) except we've yo-yoed back to the original room location. So now the show spam reads:

Origins Smithee Awards XVIII: Full Groan
Friday, June 26th
Ballroom 3
7pm to midnight plus