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anonymous kph

H is for Hercules Against the Moon Men

I was a little disappointed by Hercules Against the Moon Men -- for some reason, I'd gotten it in my head that Hercules actually went to the moon to encounter moon men.

But no such luck. Instead, the moon men (who are primarily made of rocks) crash-land to earth several generations before the movie begins. They require regular sacrifices of virgin women at their Mountain of Death, but their endgame has begun when Hercules arrives.

Their plan? They've been safeguarding their ancient (quite petrified) queen ever since they came to earth, and they want to revive her with virgin's blood, and so bring the moon closer to the earth, unleashing cosmic destruction, and causing Thundarr the Barbarian -- I mean, triggering an apocalypse that only their rock-like physiologies will survive.

Luckily for us squishy types, Hercules is able to thwart their plans by ... um ... well, he kind of shows up and gets involved in political plots and stuff (because there's a revolution/coup brewing against the moon men and the Queen of Samara, who is secretly a moon man priestess, and supports their regime), but the eventual wrench in their plans is caused when Hercules.... When Hercules.... Well, I don't rightly remember, but it did the trick because the moon queen turned to dust, and all the moon men broke into component rocks, and possibly died as well.

Along the way, Hercules fights several armored men, climbs out of a pit full of water, bends up some iron bars, and fights something that looks like a tusked Bigfoot. He also (and this is proof that he is not entirely a mortal man) asks for directions before setting out to the Mountain of Death.

Comments

Virgins, virgins, why's it always gotta be virgins?

He also (and this is proof that he is not entirely a mortal man) asks for directions before setting out to the Mountain of Death.

<3