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Animated Ninja Technique

Observered!

Hey there Smithee fans! I see we've been a little lax in the updating (although I do rather like the poll because it mentions one of my nearest and dearest Smithee Movies) and that's mostly because it's March and we are gearing up for April. Thus, we're not watching any more movies for...ahhh...2008 (I believe) but we haven't yet buckled down to edit, make buttons or sock puppet monster giveaways. It's that nothing time between relaxed and crazy so there's nothing much to report.

Except! Saturday, the Guru got a call from a writer at the Observer who wanted to do a piece on the Smithee Awards (specifically from an Ann Arbor POV). We wandered over to Starbucks to meet Mr. Bill Barr and talked for about an hour and a half about the Smithees, the differences between the A2 show and the Origins show, what it's like to attend a Smithee show and of course Unhealthy Snacks and Drinks of Color Not Found in Nature.

I'm not sure when the piece will air (print?) but look for it most likely in the next issue of the Observer. As always-when we know, you'll know as soon as we get off our lazy duffs and post about it. Also, I gave Mr. Barr this url to peruse so if any of you crazy fans (I'm lookin' at you, pattimst3k *g*) want to add your two cents worth about your Smithee going experiences, this is the time and place to shine.

Comments

Aww yeah! I would be delighted, honored, thrilled, etc. to chat about the Smithee Awards. It truly marks the start of spring in our house (rather ironic that year that is snowed on Smithee Day). Just the other day, I announced that the awards were coming up and I think my husband grunted in glee.

The email is drpattis (at) comcast (dot) net, if any reporter wants to contact me (or anyone wants to say "hi". Please don't anyone spam me or sign me up on a porn site...that happened to me once).

Patti :)
Not even Smithee porn?
Smithee-going experiences? Where could one truly begin to recount the deep enlightenment one obtains upon viewing the bottom rung of modern day cinema? After hours of watching the worst scenes from the worst movies ever produced, one grows a deep appreciation for the philosophical life of the bottom-feeding auteur, and indeed, the audience is invited to answer such probing questions as:
- What would it be like if ninjas could rollerskate?
- What does the gratuitous nudity present in "Zombie Lake" say about the evolution of sexual liberation in the Zombie-American community?
- Can you, in fact, guess what happened to Count Dracula?

Clearly, the intellectual life of any person is enhanced by a trip to The Smithee Awards. You might also get a gummy ninja as a present (but you shouldn't eat it.)
Hmm, maybe I should post about some of the movies I watched for 2007.
do be do be do
or
don't be don't be don't

I always enjoy reading your film descriptions (often much more than the actual movies), but if you don't want to "spoil" the surprise, that's OK too.
I also have a Smithee sticker that I got one year. It has the cow skull thing on it. I also stepped on a ninja the other day, as I cleaning my house; it is now living on the TV near my Buddy Christ (from Dogma) and mini-weinermobile.

Smithee porn would be a show in and of itself. Think of the categories! And you could probably use that one movie (sorry, the name escapes me) with the African-American detective guy who had the, uh, long dong. Of course, if we showed porn, we would get our funding cut like the AAFF--oh wait. There isn't any funding. GO FOR IT :) :)
Soul Vengeance.
BWA! Soul Vengeance!

You will take any opportunity to use that SV icon, won't you?

And also...true.
I think we could put together at least a borderline-pornographic Smithee evening. I know that Matt & Bryan watched & rejected at least one film on that basis (The Alien Files?) from years past. And in my Smithee researches, I myself have rejected
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I think we could put together at least a borderline-pornographic Smithee evening. I know that Matt & Bryan watched & rejected at least one film on that basis (<cite>The Alien Files</cite>?) from years past. And in my Smithee researches, I myself have rejected <a href-"http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0064763/">films</a> which might otherwise have been tasty Smithee goodness.
We could, but we probably shouldn't.
Smithee...porn...

Cos the regular Smithee show isn't disturbing enough!
From actual Smithee movies, we could use Zombie Lake, Barbarella, and Dead Weekend. Gor is apparently based on an S&M porn novel, although all the sex has been edited out for the movie version. There are probably others we could use, as well, but those are the ones that I can think of off the top of my head.
Oh, and the video box for Time Barbarians listed the genre as "Erotic Fantasy." I almost didn't rent it because of that, but I decided it was probably a lie. I was right.
The power of Smithee compels you. The power of Smithee compels you. The power of Smithee compels you. :)

Yes, I thought of Z-Lake, as well. Did Soul Vengeance (thanks for providing the name!) have enough dong in it to qualify?
In the one WHAT?! clip, you have seen all the dong you see in Soul Vengeance.

...I can't imagine why they keep rejecting my suggestion of the all-nylon Soul Vengeance "hand" puppet....
Did Soul Vengeance (thanks for providing the name!) have enough dong in it to qualify?

That depends on what measurements you are using to determine the bottom threshold of porn dong acceptability. If you go by air time, then probably not. If you are going by per unit volume of dong then most definitely.
Okay here is today's lesson: Do not read Smithee Live Journal stuff while standing in front of your class. I had 30 students doing a "write your own law!" exercise, so I snuck to the computer and took a peek at this page. I then had to hold in my desire to laugh uproariously at words like "porn dong acceptability" and "per unit volume of dong" and "Soul Vengeance hand puppets".

I will now only enjoy my Smithee dongness in the privacy of my own home. I have learned today. I have learned.