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wanna run

Mega-Meta 4 Category 3 Recap: Wanna Run That By Me Again?

Ah, the "Wanna Run That By Me Again Category" - where the most incomprehensible, double-ear-spit-take inducing dialogue from a movie is showcased. Every single nominee is unique and rare, like a nickel with three legs, or a many-fauceted scarlet emerald. Here are, or will be, your choice or choices for Mega Meta 4 envotination:


S16 Legacy of Blood (1971)

Smithee link here

S17 Dr. Tarr's Torture Dungeon (1973)

Smithee link here

S18 13 Seconds (2003)

Smithee link here

S19 Nude for Satan (1974)

Smithee link here

S20 Escape From Galaxy 3 (1981)

Smithee link here





2007 Legacy of Blood (1971)
In the kitchen of the manor house, Igor has found the cane that the old master used to beat him with. One of the family taunts him, reminding Igor how he used to get so bruised that "we could play checkers on your back." Afterwards, the cook tells Igor that everyone was wrong to be so cruel. Igor demurs, saying, "First you must know what cruel is." The cook nods sagely and asks, "You want a cookie with your milk?"


2008 Dr. Tarr's Torture Dungeon (1973)
Dr. LeBlanc is given a guided tour of Dr. Tarr's mental hospital. First, LeBlanc is shown the chimneys where patients' body heat is crystalized to create a drug which pacifies one's agressive nature. Dr. Tarr narrates with audible Victorian Capitals. "And so, Animal Instinct is conquered by Intelligence!" Then Dr. Tarr shows off the device which will harvest luminous matter to become part of man's central nervous system. "Burning Snakes, curling around the Pillars of a New Myth! A new Religion out of the very Bowels of an Electric Golem. The Alchemist's Dragon will be crowned with a Crux and Satyr, spitting luminous Pyramids over its timeless Temple..."


2009 13 Seconds (2003)
Our heroes (I use that term loosely) are trapped in an old house. They have captured the man that they suspect is involved in a series of disappearances, and have duct taped him to a chair. Oddly, when they stop by to do the interrogation, the room they left him in is now garishly painted in bloody cabalistic symbols. "Who did this?!" "There are many. But the one with the minion is Adramalech." "Right. WTF does that mean?!?"


2010 Nude for Satan (1974)
Dr. Benson rescues a woman from a car wreck and takes her to a nearby castle. Not much later, he finds the woman is unexpectedly hale and hearty and wandering around in an old-fashioned dress. He asks her to explain what is going on. She calls him "Darling," rambles on about the nature of time and memory, and says "Don't think about the past or the present ... just think about now."


2011 Escape From Galaxy 3 (1981)
Our hero and heroine have fled from the overwhelming forces of the King of the Night and have taken refuge on a primitive planet. They befriend the natives and repair their ship, but the village elder confronts them about the strange things that have been happening since they arrived and tells them that they must go. They realize they've been found by their enemies, and they agree that they must leave in order to draw the King and his forces away from the planet. The elder disagrees: "If what you say is true, then we cannot allow you to leave!" "But if we leave you'll be in no danger!" "Tie them up!"


And now I'm sure it all makes perfect sense to you, right?


--mq
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