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SkullCow

Kicking (and biting and scratching and gnawing) off the 2008 Smithee Viewing Season

This past Saturday, The Guru, Iron Chef Smithee (aka badmovie), Ms Nice Bimbette (aka lunargeography) and I tucked into our first movie for Smithee...ahhh...errr...well Smithee whatever number it will be in '08. We work a year ahead of the Smithee schedule because of the U-Con mini-Smithee primaries. The A2 crew has to have clips to go in November so our watching schedule is ahead of the game. (As a side note, the U-Con gig is a bit up in the air what with the MegaMeta3 showing also in the fall. Stay tuned for details)


Anyway!

After a grueling game of Carcassonne (which I never win), we decided to watch a movie for Smitheeage. In case you were wondering how we pick what movies we are going to watch, here's the inside scoop. Saturday we decided to go with the shortest run time until we remembered The Son of Bag of Evil, which we really need to get back to the Pizza House Guy. So Rats it was. Other times we have chosen by shortest run time (hello Narcotic Justice), or by random die roll, or by what we feel like watching that night. Some nights we even plan a whole movie and food thing (like fish sandwiches and shark movies). So now you know. It's all very scientific.

Back to Rats. It's a post apocalyptic biker gang meets lazy swarm of rats movie which yielded 5 very clipable clips. That's not counting the clips that were only so-so and one which we haven't yet figured out a place for. Where exactly should the Jiffy Pop Rat Zombie Guy scene go? It's not a monster exactly, it's not a SFX exactly and it's not an overkill really. It's just strange. And funny.

But not as funny as someone on fire while wearing half a dozen rats all hell bent on eating their head.

Yeah, I'm not sure an Italian/British joint rat horror movie really falls under SPCA jurisdiction. On the other hand, that did lead to some of the funnier rat scenes, like the rat faucet (what's up that pipe? AIIIIEEEEE! *splaloosh-squeak*) or the rats obviously being tossed into the frame by stage hands. "OH MY GOD! They're SWARMING!"

*chuck*
SQUEAK!
*chuck*
SQUEAK!
...
...
*chuck*
SQUEAK!

Speaking of swarming, while they had an impressive number of rats on the set they didn't swarm as much as they sorta mingled. It was like a giant rat meet and greet cocktail party and also the least scary rat swarm possibly captured on celluloid. On the other hand, the movie was more entertaining once I realized that it was the porn version of a horror flick: Loose circumstances connecting theme element events, except instead of gettin' it on the actors were getting mauled, eaten or terrorized. We're not even sure why the post apocalyptic biker gang was having trouble with the rats in the first place.

One movie down, many more to go!
-Your Friendly Neighborhood Promotions Ninja

Comments

Says Ms. Nice Bimbette --

You know, it occurred to me that it's not that hard to get rats to at least move as a mob, rather than milling around. Sheesh. Either put something in front of them that smells good (oh, say, BACON!) or something behind them that smells scary (say, a cat in an cage!).

They just didn't care.