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Animated Ninja Technique

Origins Smithee Suite 16 Recap


Hello Smitheeites! Well, the Smithee 16 voting year is over and what a ride! We had a couple swank new things to unveil this time around starting with the new and improved ballot packs. Truly, it's not that we're looking forward into the future but rather the laziness of not having to pack up 400+ ballot packs didn't outweigh the awkwardness of juggling 4 different things to hand audience members. That's one of the other cool new swank things - badge ribbons! OooooOOOoooo! And also our business cards, which are actually a quick and dirty MS Publisher file printed on fancy colored paper and then lovingly hand cut into little slips. I guess business lames is a better description but! It has all our info and looks...all info-y so yay? Yay! Thirdly, we got a new room this year. A huge new room. HYOOJ! 1200 seats of Hyooj so all you Smithee Origins folks can bring your friends AND your enemies tonight.


I haven't looked at the Main Smithee Page to see if the winners are uploaded yet but here they are in case they are not. Or something. WINNERS!

MLP: "Vampire Raider Ninja Queen" - Using Vampires to distract the Purple ninjas in order to take over the hotel industry. Fnord.
Oblivious: "Vampire Raider Ninja Queen" - A ninja is a man of Missed-tree.
Wanna Run: "Legacy of Blood" - Wanna cookie?
LUtRtR: "The Girl and the Geek" - Back at the strip club: Kidnapped? Mmmmmmm.
Alas: "Vampire Raider Ninja Queen" - Pigs do just fall off buildings onto old people!
Deus Ex: Prisoners of the Lost Universe - Invincible Gold guy goes BOOM! on rock.
SLM: "God Monster of Indian Flats" - Eight foot mincing mutant shuffly sheep.
Worst Science: "Legend of the Dinosaurs" - Dinosaurs cause earthquakes.
One Liner: "Space Hunter" - "I'll take that bet."
Worst Cover: "Lake of Dracula" - Choose your own adventure cover copy.
Overkill: "Nemesis 3" - Punch! Punch! Punch! *pause* Zap. Zap zap. Zap Zap Zap. *pause* ZAP! ZAAAAP! ... ... ...Zap.
Inane: "Matango" - "Must be the rainy season."
Whoops: "Voodoo Black Exorcist" - Camera man in the mirror.
What?!?: "Death By Dialogue" - Hair band in the woods.
AAS: "Spiders" - "It's in here!" "Let's keep on going."
Worst f/x: "Vampire Raider Ninja Queen" - Ninja dummy drag.
Worst Ending: "Invincible Barbarian" - In the 14th moon of the 17th illumination there was this movie.
Worst Acting: "Max Hell Frog Warrior" - Joe Estevez bringin' in the ninjas.
Worst Picture: "Catman in Lethal Track" - Rescue the chick from the Holy Cheever Church only to get gassed by said damsel.


Some interesting tidbits for Smithee 16 are God Monster of Indian Flats's Stupid Monster got 426 aggregate votes which is the most Smithee votes ever. I'm sorry Chupacabra fans, Worst Pic only got 351 total votes. Alas. On the other hand, you could be one of two very sad Death by Dialogue Inane fans. Poor, poor Death by Dialogue.

Speaking of numbers, the voting peak for Origins was 228 while the low was 209. That's remarkably steady, in fact more stable than the Ann Arbor Ice Storm Aught 5 weirdness which had a weird non fluctuating vote drop thing going on. Clearly I'm not the Smithee statistician here but basically y'all either came in and stayed or pretty much enough people came in to replace those of you who tried to flee. Hey wait, you know what? I have some more numbers to add to the pot because we had the badges this year just for this kind of numbery thing. According to our carefully counted ballot bags, 277 of you total came in to watch our show.

Aaaaand that's the limit of my math skills in terms of statistics so on to more fun facts!

The Syngenor award, which is the award we give to the movie that had the most clips but did the least well, goes to "To the Limit" this year. It was nominated for 5 categories and won none of them. In fact, if you add up all the votes for all five To the Limit clips (146), you will find that the other 5 or more category nominated films had at least one clip that got more votes than the To the Limit aggregate total. Ummm. Wow. Everybody might know about Collette's bath but apparently you all don't care. Ouch Anna.

We had no categories zero out for the total vote, but we did have four clips zero out at Origins, two of them in the same category (worst f/x: Legend of the Dinosaurs and Voodoo Black Exorcist). The last time that happened was 1999.

As for the show, our official stalker Ty had a special presentation for Mr. Smithee this year (and yes, we checked him for any dangerous substances beforehand...well, anything more dangerous than the clips we were showing that is). He had a nicely framed pic of Mr. Smithee with all the Smithkateers' names bordering it. Awww Ty...we're...ummm...still keeping you as our official stalker.

A special shout out to those of you who kindly fed the ninjas (and bimbos and counters and presenter). You guys wrock! We still pass on the cookies though. Definitely passing on the cookies.

OK, it's before coffee o'clock and I'm hearing the siren call of Starbucks. The pics are uploaded unto the Origins Smithee 16 gallery if you want to peruse them and I'll probably link them in later. But for now, coffee trumps coding.

Alright! I've had some coffee and a car trip back to Michigan (BTW - I've figured out why Ohio is so much more boring than Michigan. Trees! Planting them along the highway makes a state look so much less flat) so here's the inside scoop for Smithee 16.


What a better way to start a show than getting a ballot kit from one of us ballot collectors? Oh yes, we had swank new ballot kits this year which made doing the ballot thing a million times easier. It's just one of the new Smithee things we are trying out.


Here's the prototype of the Mr. Smithee Hat with a malt ball guy whimple option.


What do you think? Should we mass market them? No?

Heh, sometimes you snap a pic of two innocent audience members and ideas are born.


Here are some more audience peeps hanging and watchin the show...


and here's the soul shot. I usually don't get one of these shots at Origins; It's the Ann Arbor show where I've gotten these weird shots. I like to think this is the exact moment the souls are sucked from the audience and here it looks like I snapped the motherload. Wow.

After the souls left, we gave away some goodies.













This would have been the end of the giveaways but our official stalker Ty had some prezzies of his own.


Here he is having presented Mr. Smithee with a framed pic.


I didnt' do an official check, but I'm thinking this was our youngest audience member. Smithee Spawn!!


Eventually the show wrapped up and we all left. It was an awesome night, thanks for coming out!


Edited! Now with pics!

Comments

(Anonymous)

Wow. Most of the results are unsurprising, but I'm amazed that Spacehunter won One-liner. In fact, I'm amazed any of the clips could beat "Your mother." "How much is she paying you?"

I didn't even know you guys had a stalker. Must be a recent phenomenon (the last time I attended the Smithees at Origins was in 2004).

When I came to the show in 2003, I think the place you were originally scheduled was that ballroom, but it was empty when I went to it, and had to track down the ceremony in another part of the con center (like, a mile or so away - that place is huge!).

I anxiously await the report of last night's MM3 show.


-Sean K.
I always find the Best One-Liners to be the hardest to predict.

The Official Stalker (Ty) has been around for a while (ten years?), so I'm not sure how you missed him. You were probably not in attendance the year that we actually gave him an Official Stalker T-shirt....

We loved the ballroom. Not only was it huge, but it's about the closest place to the hotels, and it means a lot less ballot-kit-and-giant-gold-trash-can hauling.
Oooooooooooooooooh, I wanted to be the official stalker!! :) Except that I'm really not creative enough to think up stalker-like things. I'll keep trying :)
Aww Patti, we like to think of you as our cyber-stalker! :)
:sniff: I'm so touched...I'm beyond words :)