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Wirefu Ninja

Origins Meta Mega Ceremony Recap


Here's a Smithee vet bringing a Smithee virgin to her first show. Awwwwww, another soul corrupted. That's so sweet. And you know...if we get the same room next year all of you vets can bring your Smithee deprived friends and we'll still have chairs left over. The Hyatt ballroom WROCKS!

When Mr. Smithee gets home and has the time to do his Main Smithee Site fu you can find the official show results there. In the meantime, here's an unofficial tally of the show results:

WINNERS!

MLP: "Roller Blade" - Dr. Saticoy steals the sacred power crystal.
Oblivious: "Spontaneous Combustion" - People on fire are funny and hard to see.
Wanna Run: "Deathsport" - "Lets fire together one at a time."
LUtRtR: "Guns of El Chupacabra" - When one random luchadore really loves another random luchadore...
Alas: "Gymkata" - The anti-American sentiment arrow.
Deus Ex: "Trick or Treat" - Foiling the electronic ghost Tydee Bowl style. Flush!
SLM: "Blood Freaks" - Herschell the mutant headed turkey freak
Worst Science: "Circuitry Man II: Plughead Reloaded" - "I've never interfaced with a quadruped before."
One Liner: "Circuitry Man" - "Why jack off when you can jack in?"
Worst Cover: "Ninja Queen Boxer" - She's beautiful, seductive, deadly and not in this film. Neither is the plot but at least the running time is accura nevermind.
Overkill: "Lady Terminator" - Emptying a machinegun clip into the fella at close range followed with a good kick to the crotch just to make sure.
Inane: "Behind Locked Doors" - "This door is locked. From the outside. I can't open it."
Whoops: "Night of a Thousand Cats" - Flashback flashback sequence.
What?!?: "El Topo" - Waltzing with the priests.
AAS: "Planet of the Vampires" - Touch the (candy coated) glowing shock device!
Worst f/x: "Rollerblade" - Dr. Saticoy goes bad blue screen cliff diving.
Worst Ending: "Narcotic Justice" - Some end credits would complete this tableau...maybe after recapping the movie in flashback.
Worst Acting: "Skyscraper" - Anna Nicole Smith wanting to be excused for Sunday walks in the park, babies and this bit of acting.
Worst Picture: "Rollerblade" - Vigilante roller skating nuns off to save their captured sisters using "tools of love"

Argh. Herschell. At least he beat out Godzilla and that makes me happy for certain factors of "extreme Herschell hate" happy. Except now I'm going to have to watch Herschell again in the Super MegaMetas in whenever year that happens. ARRRGH! And the HATE!


At least Herschell doesn't tramutize me as much as El Topo traumatized these gents. They came in costume! And also I am really glad we had no clergy in the audience or if we did, they had the presence of mind to lay low.

Speaking of Audience...


Hello.


And hello again. If this were last year, we could only say for certain hello to the 291 of you who showed up at one point in time for a max voting count. But! Because of our new badge ribbons, we can now say hello to the 394 of you who showed up at some point in time to see the show. We've always wondered how many unique brains we touch during the Smithees and this year we were finally able to determine that. I'm thinking it might not be a "good touch" though.

We gave away some goodies in order to lure the audience back show how much we love you all. The giveaways were, as usual, after the intermission break and during the Worst Pic ballot counting lull. Since this was a MegaMeta, the Promotions Crew (and when I say crew, I primarily mean dotquirk because she is a genius when it comes to taking my ideas and making them a reality) made up five Stupid Looking Monster puppets to correspond to the five monsters up for contension. When we did the standard write the name on the ballot for the chance to win a tasty giveaway, these were the lucky winners:











And to the person who spent all the other ANONYMOUS categories drawing their votes in numerical penises, the ballot counters are very sadly dissapointed that no penis votes came in on any of the "write your name for goodies ballots." Hiding behind anonymous numerical penis drawings. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

However, penises and puppets aside, the really special treat was getting all lots of you to sing Happy Birthday to Mr. Smithee at intermission. Yes, Mr. Smithee turned 40 this year (back in January actually) and the Chief Ballot Bimbo (aka Mr. Smithee's wife) has been cooking this up ever since. HA! There was even a giant card for everyone to sign



and sign a lot of you did...


Mr. Smithee was touched.


So were the lot of you who voted for for Roller Blade, as we can all see in the moment just after the Worst Pic was announced. Sorry, Chupacabra fans. No amount of chanting could pull out a win for the goat sucker. I'm not even going to mention that Guns lost by only 11 votes. Oh, whoops. Oddly, worst pic wasn't the closest win, Deus Ex had to be recounted again just to be sure Trick or Treat won by only 3 votes.

Then again, I suppose the ballot peeps got a break when they counted the one vote for Snowbeast's Whoops.

Pretty soon, it was all done and another MegaMeta slid into Smithee history. Thanks to all of you who came to vote for previous years' winners. Choosing between clips that had already been the best of their category in each of their years had to have been tough.

CHUPA!
CABRA!


Comments

CHUPA!
FISH!
I think we could have made a bundle if we did a "Dance with the Luchadore" Dollar Dance.
LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!
Of course! Luchadore dances, Godzilla touchdown dance, "ARGH I'M ON FIRE PUT IT OUT" Spontaneous Combustion dance, Swingin' Kitty Love dance ... no wonder they gave us the Ballroom.
Another fun dance is the "Friends in Low Places" dance that we did in the sorority back in college and did at our wedding. None of my family likes country music, but man do we like to put our arms around each other, drunkenly sing along w/ Garth and kick off our shoes. And of course, when you say LOW, you all have to swoop down. This is complicated after lots of drinks from the open bar :)

(Anonymous)

Don't forget Tivoli Nights! All Copenhagen is dancing...


-Sean K.
How can I forget? I've had that song running through my head all day....
Still can't believe Guns of El Chupacabra lost out. Roller Blade just isn't nearly as fun to yell out. ^_^ I need to bring more pixi stix next year.
Pixie Stix Guy!!! Heh. I'm not sure which is more fun, a giant Pixie Stix or having a giant Pixie Stix with which to extend my poking range. I too am sad about Guns because I LOVE the worst pic clip. I might not recommend buying Guns as the movie (although I'm still firmly convinced that with enough viewings I can wrangle some sense from it) but if they came out with a Guns soundtrack, I'd buy that in a minute. Guns had some mighty kickin tunes.