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Animated Ninja Technique

MegaMeta 3 Category Recap Number Something of Number Something Else: Acting Appropriately Stupid

Yeah, I know. This isn't Worst Cover but I'm much, much closer to having that one done. I almost remembered my paper notes even! But I didn't so instead, here's some acting stupid. I think this is one of the easiest categories to explain (well, other than LUtRtR) because it's one category that everyone gets. I mean, who hasn't hooted at the screen when Character A goes and does something that will surely end up badly? "Duuuuude, you've heard the rumors of Vampires and seen the mutilated corpses so just take the wooden stake and garlic already. And how about a buddy too and don't take the short cut across the graveyard in the middle of the night." Of course they don't listen, they never do, but this just means we get to nominate them for Acting Appropriately Stupid. I wonder how many AASs become Alases?

Enough speculation, on to nomination!
2002 brought you Raptor
2003 brought you Planet of the Vampires
2004 brought you Parasite
2005 brought you The Angry Red Planet
2006 brought you Slaughter


Raptor makes me giggle because the lead up to the scene is that chief henchman Lyle has had it with the super science of questionable ethics and quits. Do you hear him? He QUITS! The Evil Mad Scientist understands, but asks if Lyle could do him one last favor before clearing out his desk. It seems as if the T-Rex needs someone to go in to the cage with it and get some more data for the experiment. Lyle's response? "OkeyDoke!"

In Planet of the Vampires, our intrepid heroes are investigating a decrepit abandoned spaceship (full of giant skeletons that have died mysteriously) and they find a glowing device on a console. A Shiny! Candy Colored glowing - wait wrong space scenario. Without establishing anything about anything on this strange alien ship, one of the space goers touches the button and-OUCH! Gets a shock. A Second spaceman asks what happened and Touchy McFeely Spaceman says that the button gave him/her a shock! So, second spaceman touches the same glowing button! ZORCH. OK, this one made me giggle too. What, this button here? BzzzzAT!

Parasite didn't make me giggle but instead made me roll my eyes and mutter "dumbasses" under my breath. That's just as good as giggling in some respects and in this respect, the movie got the 'dumbass' because of the bunch of hooligans. They managed to capture a scientist type and a thermos full of creepy critter and proceed to both beat the tar out of the scientist type while investigating the thermos. The scientist type begs them to not open the canister since it has the parasite in it and unleashing that is a Very Bad Idea. So of course, the hooligans open the canister. Nothing immediately happens so they stick their fingers into the canister and find some sort of protoplasmic goo. Still nothing goes horribly wrong so they give the dark innards of the thermos the googly eyeball and on cue the parasite comes flying out full of toothy whoopass.

Angry Red Planet's characters got a giggle from me for being dumbasses. The mission to Mars returns to Earth after being out of contact for most of the mission and even though the rocket has landed, they are still keeping mum. This, of course, has ground control's panties in a paranoid bunch so the big wigs give the spaceship the hairy eyeball while going to all sorts of alerts. Guns are trained, hazmat suits are scrambled and they haven't yet gotten the results in on the radiation levels when whoosh! The door opens and the female crew member stagers out onto the ramp. In unison, several of the big wigs on the ground say "It's the girl! To Hell with radiation!" and they all go storming past the barricades and tape lines to scoop her up and whisk her away to safety.

Lastly, Slaughter. Let's say that you are a hit man and you are good at what you do. Now let's say that you took a hit out on Jim Brown's characters parents. Now lets say the entire movie you are in is about Jim Brown (AKA Jim Slaughter) looking for revenge against the people who killed his parents. Now, let's say in the final climactic moments of the movie you biff the car chase, go over a bank, bust open the gas tank and end up upsidown, bleeding and trapped in your car. When Jim Brown comes down the slope to ask if you killed his parents, you might not get any sympathy from him if your first words are "Get me outta this car wreck." You definitely won't get any sympathy from him when you tell him matter-of-factly that "Yeah, I killed your parents. I'm really good at it.' And you will get yourself blowed up really good when you holler at him "Now get me out of this car wreck, you stupid N****R!"
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