The Smithee Awards Blog

I did a little doodling the other day and came up with the Smithee 19 Stupid Looking Monster. Meet the rough draft of Bob the Blob monster.

-YFNPN

So I was ranting about sites not updating (I'm having a Very Cranky Day) when I realized that the Smithee Awards technically have a community site which is never updated. I didn't think we were doing too badly since the last post was in July. Then I read the date. Yeah, nobody posts over at smithee_talk. Then I wondered why. I have some ideas (ranging from "I get my Smithee fix from here, FB, MySpace and the Main site, Smithee-Talk is kinda redundant" to "You have a community site?") but I kinda wanted to hear from the Smithee crowd as to why y'all think Smithee-Talk languishes. Ideas?

-Your Friendly "Oh yeah, we have a community site" Neighborhood Promotions Ninja.

If you have been wanting to sport your own Smithee wear but were afraid to ask (or hunt through the archives because YIKES!) we now have it conveniently linked over on the side bar. I tell you, once I figure something out there's no stopping me! Who knows what I'll link next!

-YFNPN and the Guru, bringing you your Smithee wear fix.

I know I owe y'all a Conbust report but I'm being hampered by doing the technical fiddly bits to the few pictures I took plus I've got the winter plague. I has a terrible hate for hourlies who come in all plague drippy and give me their disease. I will get the Conbust pics and report up by the end of this week though.
( MY SPOON IS TOO BIG! )

-YFNPN

That the slogan button poll closes Friday. As it stands currently, the votes are 7,7,3,1,3 which sort of sounds like a phone number. If you haven't voted yet, this is your chance to make a difference since "Moron" and "Kung-fu" are deadlocked at the moment.

On the other hand, "Sausage whiskers" could use all the help it can get.

It's about that time of year when I start thinking about the next Smithee season's promotional material. To that end, I thought I'd solicit your help in picking the quote button for the Smithee 18 season so vote below for one of five hand chosen quotes (heh). The winner will, of course, grace the buttons given away in 2009 at any one of our Smithee shows and you will know that you helped contribute. If your choice wins that is. Whatever, put a quote on my buttons!

Poll #1275440 Buttonation
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21

Pick the quote that sings to you

I'll close the poll midnightish on Halloween because that sounds like a fun time to stop polling. [edited: Anonymous voters will be counted as per Smithee poll rules established by the Earl, which means I get tie breaker vote privileges. Muahahahaha!)

[Edit: Poll is officially closed and it looks like I get to be the tie breaker. Muahahaha! Am I feeling Kung-fuy or Morony? Hmmmmm! Lemmie think on it a bit]

Just a quick note to let y'all know that I found the pics folder for the A2 Smithee 15 and stuffed it in an appropriate LJ pics gallery last night. Just in case you are bored at work and want to oogle some past Smithee peeps.

-Your Friendly, Yet Slightly Disorganized, Neighborhood Promotions Ninja

Often we are asked how many movies we have to watch in order to put on The Smithee Awards. This is very difficult to answer, as sometimes movies will be backburnered for a year or two (Catman in Lethal Track), jumped ahead in the queue (Rock 'n Roll Cops 2: The Adventure Begins), or sometimes take over a decade to track down after initial viewing (Legend of the Dinosaurs).

Instead, the question I will answer is ( How many Smithee-intended movies have we watched in the past year (for certain vaules of 'we')? )

For "we" values of The Ann Arbor Smithee Contingent (none of whom actually live in Ann Arbor any longer). If you add Greg + Bryan into the mix, the list gets bigger, squamous, possibly even noctilucent. But probably not.

Hola Smithee peeps, your Friendly Neighborhood Promotions Ninja here. Just stopping by to say "Hi" to all our new friends (HI!) and also "Hi" to our old friends (HI!) since the smithee_awards doesn't just drop our old friends like moldy hot potatoes once you sign up. For you newcomers, if it seems like the Smithee LJ is a bit schitzo at times that could be because it is. The core Smithee members all have posting access and are not afraid to use it. Sometimes we even remember to use associated icons with our posts which should clue you in as to who is posting. Then again sometimes we don't because we have a lot of icons and are sad when they languish, unused and forgotten in a dusty corner of cyberspace.
( clicky! )

Arrgh! We are doing so many shiny! new Smithee things that we totally forgot to do an old Smithee thing, and that was let y'all know where it is that we're actually holding the show. Apparently the con info is keeping it a super secret so if you don't know the mystical club ritual handshake (i.e. hunting up a Smithkateer and asking where the heck we're going to be) you might have missed us. That makes us very sad, so here is the super secret room location for those of you want to attend tonight:

Hyatt Regency Ballroom - Third floor

Look for the cybercafe or bar (whatever your preference) just inside the convention center entrance by the parking garage dellie and go up.

OoooooooOOOoooooo! And also *squeee*! One week left on the countdown ticker until we take Columbus by storm.

But first! Some admin Announcement type stuff: Apparently, in keeping with the Origins tradition, our room has been changed. We're now (for the moment at least) scheduled to be in the Hyatt Regency Ballroom. Huzzah? Huzzah! We'll post signs most likely.

Which reminds me: Signs. Gotta add that to the list of prep things what need to get done. Tonight we finish stuffing all the MegaMeta ballot packs (the Smithee 16 packs are already done and boxed), the buttons are printed but I need to press a good double handful so we have stock to give out, and the giveaways are mostly done (one of them still wants a finishing coat of Smitheeness) but need to be packed up. I think we're pretty good as far as background prepwork. Hopefully.

We also have blank SLM button pics and a raft of colored "sharpies" so it looks like the color and press your own Smithee button is a mostly sure thing. We'll also have cut out button pics of finished SLM, ninja, quote, and can buttons so if you aren't artistically inclined, you can still get a fresh hot button. Look for us sometime Thursday (probably afternoonish/eveningish) in the breezeway deelie. Last year we up and stole a table, we're not above doing it again this year. RARH!

Today marks the start of the two week countdown until Smithee 16 at Origins. Two weeks? TWO WEEKS??!? Well at least this year I have the giveaway puppets already done so I suppose I'm ahead of the game no? Speaking of puppets, those of you who attended the A2 show already know who's showing up as the SLM puppet but what you may not know is that I've finally designed a button to accompany said puppet. Observant Smitheeites will have noticed that the SLM button has, so far, matched the SLM sock puppet giveaway and this year is no exception. So come find a Smith-ka-teer at the con for your absolutely free Smithee button cuz we'll have handfuls to give away.

We will probably be pressing buttons at the con again this year as we had a pretty good time doing that last year. Look for us in the breezeway on Thursday (July 5th) at a table which we have appropriated (until someone kicks us out) and come by for a fresh, hot off the press button and some out of the box Promotions Ninja harassment. Also, I'm thinking of picking up some colored pencils for the b&w SLM buttons we're printing soas y'all who show up can color your own SLM button. Smithee arts and crafts, how fun!

These are just one of the new and improved Smithee Ideas we're trying out this year: Badge Ribbons! They're cute, they're gold (or black) and they totally accessorize with any Origins badge. So! Don't forget to pester your Friendly Neighborhood Ballot Bimbo/Ninja for an Official Smithee Badge Ribbon when you attend one or both of the shows. All it really takes is to have been a warm body at some point in time at MegaMeta3 and/or Smithee 16 and we'll give you a ribbon, so those of you who don't vote can still sport this cutting edge of Badge Ribbon fashion. Wear it big, wear it proud, wear it Smithee style!

Check it out, the Guru has been busy busy with Smithee stores! Eventually we will have them all linked under one front page (possibly even today) but for now, you can buy:
Smithee Logo wear
SLM wear
Ninja wear

at their individual separate stores. You observant Smitheeites might also notice that there are two links for ninja wear; an old favorite standby as well as this year's ninja. OooooooOOOoooo!

Stay tuned for I hear there is a rumor going around that Let's Up The Rating to 'R' will make an appearance today as well (assuming the Guru is able to conquer his raging headache). *SQUEEE* Smithee-wear!

Happy June 4th all you Smitheeites, do you know the significance of today's date? Well I'll tell you the significance of today's date. Today's date is exactly one month before we all start to converge on Columbus Ohio for the Origins Gaming Expo. Then, in exactly one month and two days, we are putting on one of two (TWO!) Smithee shows at said con and for the first time in a loooooong time, we're offering up Smithee T-shirts (and other sundry Smithee Stuff) to the masses for purchasing.

Yes, I did just say that we now have Smithee shirts for sale. Because we do. Can you believe it? Right here at the official Smithee store you can buy yourself a stylin Smithee shirt. Of doom. Support your local Smithees, buy a shirt, show up July 6th and/or 7th and express your Smitheeadarity!

But wait! There'll be more. The Guru is feverishly working on getting a couple category stores up and running by Friday so not only can you get some Smithee logo love, but some Smithee ninja wear love and possibly some Skull Cow love as well. I so want a SLM coffee mug!

If you've not yet voted in the Worst Picture Sequel poll, and wish to do so before reading this, go here and do so!

OK, so now let's talk about the 15 Worst Pictures (so far), and the (non-)existence of their sequels.

( cut for discussion )

...And what of year 16? Well, of the five Worst Picture nominees, only one really has a sequel. And I own that sequel (misplaced "'" and all). And I plan on watching the sequel. So there. Nyah!

Sunday, Iron Chef Smithee was perusing the Saturday Ann Arbor paper when he ran across this little blurbit in the B-section:

Smithees honor the worst

Admit it. Isn't it sort of fun when movies are so bad in their earnestness that they're unintentionally hysterical? Shouldn't they receive recognition, too -- a kind of anti-Oscar?

That's the thinking behind the 16th annual Smithee Awards, taking place tonight in the University of Michigan's Chemistry Building, room 1800, at 930 N. University Ave., from 7 p.m. to midnight. Appropriately, admission is free.

Each year, Smith-ka-teers scour loads of B movies and straight-to-video washouts in order to compile a list of nominees. With five finalists in 19 categories of badness -- bad monsters, bad acting, bad special effects, bad dialogue, etc. -- audience members watch clips from each and vote to decide which is the most egregious. Don't expect major releases; the Smithee Awards are specifically geared to recognize little-known gems of badness.

Plus, in keeping with this celebration of bad film, the event will feature bad food and drink. (Its Web site, www.smitheeawards.com, even mentions the inclusion of Vegemite, which I can personally vouch for as being Australian for "disgusting.")

Will any of this make me feel better about the time I was trapped on a plane showing Britney Spears' "Crossroads"? Well, no. But the Smithees sound like a riotously fun evening nonetheless.

Jenn McKee, News staff reporter

Which...YEA! Trifecta achieved! And how appropriate too because this is a Deus Ex Machina if I've ever had the pleasure of being a participant in one. *I* never talked to Ms. McKee, The Guru never talked to Ms. McKee, neither did The Earl or Our Lovely Ballot Bimbo yet there we are on B1. Either Jenn McKee channels Smithee (and for that, I am truly sorry), or she is a long time Smitheeite who took it upon herself to give us a pretty pretty preshow write up. It could also be that the gods themselves came down and made my trifecta happen because I certainly did nothing in the way of promoting to the A2 news. I'm completely asquee!!

Jenn McKee? You are my hero! And also, thank you very much for the press.

Yes indeedy do, Smithees 16 is fast approaching. You have one week and one day to find an 1800 Chem building near you and hunker down for the badness.

Speaking of which! Ze show, she is DONE! (exceptforthesmallittybittyfinishingdetailsbutfocusontheDONE!) The Guru created the inter titles last night and they have been out and back for proofing. I do believe. Anyway, today he plans on dropping them in and tomorrow he will be swinging by the production office to burn the whole show to disc.

Ze giveaway puppets are done! And I mean done done, like I don't have to do any more work at all even for the Origins puppets. Fini! And I love them!!!!

Ze buttons...wellllllll we love ze buttons. Nothing is pressed for the A2 show but I have ninja and quote buttons a plenty cut out. The A2 trashcan buttons have to be reworked from the Smith College design (which I'm sure is simply a matter of pasting A2 over Smith College) but the SLM buttons...ummm...yeah. I guess I'll be designing an SLM this weekend because nobody was nice enough to leave an Orochi clip art pic on the web for me to gank. Hrrmph.

Supplies! I assume Iron Chef Smithee will make his usual Wednesday Before The Show Snack run and the paper and pens are standing by (I do have to go through all the pens and discard the dead ones this weekend). By George, I think we have Show Sign!

After a week of schnurdging around, the Smithee Supreme Committee finally got the show clips for Smithee 16 decided and set in virtual stone Saturday. On Sunday, The Guru and Earl set them in electronic stone. Hear ye, Hear ye! The edit and assembly of Smithee 16 is done, huzzah! Now all that needs to be accomplished is balancing the sound levels, creating inter titles, and squishing the whole kit and caboodle onto a disc and we will have a show!

As an interesting technical note, for those of you who like to know these odd little bits of inner workings lore, the show order of the clips is determined by the itty bitty fractional second leftovers at the end of a clip. So, if one clip is 2 minutes 15 and 0.067** seconds long and another is 1 minute and 0.1 seconds long, the 2 minute clip will be slotted ahead of the 1 minute clip (0.067 being smaller than 0.1). This year we had a Smithee first: Two clips in the same category came out the exact same length, even down to the fractional leftover. What are the odds of that happening?

I guess we also got to make up official Smithee Standard Operating Procedure as well: In this specific instance, show order was determined by a flip of a coin.

**(The clips are timed in frames rather than seconds since film is a frame based entity but seconds were much easier to work with. The actual numbers I pulled out of a convenient orifice)

(Your Friendly Neighborhood Promotions Ninja)

The miniSmithee box made it safe and sound to its Massachusettes snail mail address. Sadly, we didn't have a design for the new logo trashcans in time to add them to the miniSmithee box but we have one now. And it's really keen, as in I'm going to be pressing a small handful of buttons for giveaways. But! Do I press them tonight and then quick quick send them next day or two day post tomorrow? Or do I relax a bit, maybe press them tomorrow or Wednesday and stuff them in a checked bag and hope NW doesn't ship my luggage to Newport for the weekend? On one hand, lazy now for pressing later but on the other hand, lazy later for not having to wait for the checked luggage to rumble off the plane. And on the third hand, if I check a bag I can pack what I damn well please in there and not have to worry if it's a liquid or metal or pointy or a helper monkey.

In non Smith Smithee news, I just sent an e-mail out to a Smithee fan who volunteered to ballot bimbo for the Origins show. Heh. It's much better than you could possibly imagine.