The Smithee Awards Blog

I know some of our official Smithee foods are Corkers, Giant Pixie Stix and Bacon Bars but if there was a honorary unifying Smithee food might it not be bacon? And if it were indeed bacon, would not we then wholly support Baconfest?

-Your Friendly Yet Suddenly Hungry Neighborhood Promotions Ninja

I just learned that Henry Gibson passed away on Monday. That man was in everything practically but we will miss him most as the evil scientist with the super weapon that is inferior in every way to any firearm ever made. And also as the head Nazi on the Blues Brothers.

-YFNPN

Bologna virtuoso Oscar Mayer, the third of that name to head the Oscar Mayer Company, died today at the age of 95. Thank you Oscar(s) for saving the world from militant vegetarian trolls goblins.

Whilst googling around I found this bit of fun. That crazy Google! Sadly, it's just a small slice of the moon and none of the back side where we know the Bermuda Triangle empties out. Coincidence? Or Conspiracy?

The Devil Made Me Do It!
-YFNPN

and stumbled across something that I first thought, "Uh oh, how did THAT get there?" Then I noticed who was posting it and said, "Oh. OK, I guess that's fine then, no need to hunt down any Smithee pirates." After that, I thought it would be kinda keen to throw up the video here but embedding has been disabled. This makes me sad so here's a rather not shiny link to the Youtubed Scott Shaw Origins Smithees 2007 video.

-YFNPN

Oh lookie look...sneak peek at some awesome Origins goodness. Want a button? Come to the show on Friday, June 26th (7pm - midnightish: Ballroom 3) and I'll give you one for free.
( Clicky for More STUFF! )

Aieeeeee!
-Your Friendly Neighborhood Smithee Ninja

In a solemn laser gun salute to the passing of Smithee movie actor David Carradine. May you leave no footprints on the rice paper to the hereafter.

I'ma going to close the "Pick us a birthday movie" poll at midnightish tonight so vote while you can. At the moment it's a dead heat against almost but not quite dead and howling marsupials (an anon voter brings the numbers up to 5 each). If you haven't voted and are not a fan of "this side of dead" or pocket creatures, you have very little time left. On the other hand, if three of you vote for Post Impact or Warriors of the Wasteland than we'll have a 3 way tie. That's a lot of birthday movieage.

Didja see the side bar? I figured out how to add personal linkage. It only took me over a year. :PP There will be a couple more sites to come so keep an eye out on the side for fun and entertainment.

Buttons! We hit Angell Hall and MLB yesterday with buttonage including the new ninja button (see the icon). We have ninjas! We also have trashcans. In fact, we have all the button designs up and designed.

I am planning on having a fist full of buttons to take to the A2 show. If you catch me before intermission and ask nicely for a button, I'll give you one. After intermission I'm going to disperse them as I see fit. Did you know buttons and Frisbees are similarly shaped?

Anything else? Oh yeah, show sign in 10 days.

SATURDAY APRIL 25
1800 Chem building
7pm until the show is done

This weekend was chock full of Smitheelicious prep. Here's a sneak peek of this year's SLM puppet (this one's mine...he's a bit damaged. On the other hand, I now know how to properly hot glue googly eyes so the rest of the Chupas have appropriately rattly eyeballs). This is what Dort and I did Saturday so you A2 peeps have about two weeks to hone your name writing skillz if you want to take home one of these critters.

Ballot packs? DONE babE! 339 of them, just in case we have a freak influx of Smithee Audience this year. I'm expecting I'll have leftovers for Penguicon.

Speaking of Penguicon, we have a date! Saturday, 8pm in the Columbia room. I'll post that separately so I can use our new SmitheeTux icon. Heh.

Buttons! They is done for the A2 show. We hit the chem building today and distributed buttonage and posterage so if you want a button preshow, hope all the students haven't napped them by now. I ordered more blanks for the Penguicon buttons (which are all punched as of tonight) and the Origins buttons (all but the ninja button are punched out. Oh, and we have to make the trashcan button but that's the easiest one of the lot to do). I have an extra added Origins surprise this year so I ordered a lot of lot of buttons. Muahahahahahahaha!

Next weekend is a Sam's club food run and then...we coast through the week until Saturday.

BTW! If you haven't voted in the movie poll and don't particularly like marsupials, you should cast your vote for your non-marsupial movie of choice. I'm closing the poll Wednesday so that gives you two more days to try and deseat the howling pouchies. On the other hand, if you love you some marsupes, this is also your chance to ensure their first place victory. Either way, vote!

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Goat Sucker Hearder Ninja

I just got a spam that said:

Your python will be able to work for days without a rest!

and I thought, "Are they talking about One, Two or vs. Boa?"

Several years ago, we ran across a fella named Brian at Origins who made a game called "Schlock". This game is part Nanofictionary and part Smithee Awards and all fun. We sat in on a game or two and decided that this could be really super fun to play anywhere, except that we didn't have a deck. Brian only has the one but he was awesomely nice and said that he didn't mind if we yoinked his idea and made a deck of our own. We've been back burnering that idea for a while but fate and circumstances (and, quite frankly, lunargeography) have moved the process to the front of the stove. As it were.

( You are our only hope clicky )

Yikes it's getting on towards the end of 2008 and I still have one more snake movie to watch in order to up my snake footage from the current 659 feet.

150 feet of snake from Boa vs. Python (one at 70' one at 80' - double your money!)
60 feet of Mega Snake
80 feet of Boa
129 feet of Python (they changed it up from the original 80' because 80' is so yesterday)
170 feet of Python II in two snake installments of 85 feet (We think, snake 2 is never tagged and measured but is similar to snake 1)
70 feet of Komodo vs. Cobra wherein we also had to estimate snake length. We went with a general Boa length because it seemed about right.
659 feet of snake YDT

( Can I get over 900 feet of snake by the end of the year? What??!? OVER 900!!!! )

-Your Friendly and Reptilian Hunting Promotions Ninja

For those of you who were at the Mini-Smithees this November past, you got to see a Christian Bale vehicle (or snippits of it) called Equilibrium…possibly for the first time. I usually get to see all the clips at least once before the show disc is finished so I got a sneak peek of the "goodness" a couple weeks before y'all. That said, Equilibrium isn't a movie I've seen start to finish so really, I got a preview glimpse of the amazing world of Gun-Fu just a few weeks ahead of y'all. It still makes me giggle.

Since the UCon show, Equilibrium has been weirdly showing up in my life. First, gizelnort picked that movie of all the movies we showed to look up and watch in full and then write about. That's not entirely out-of-the-blue weird since The Smithees generated the pique which bit his curiosity. However, last week I was surfing around the AMC site and stumbled on a column about religion in Sci-Fi and lo! Equilibrium was mentioned. That was a little coincidental.

Then, this past Tuesday, I got an e-mail from one of the ConBustites (complete with awesome photoshopped movie poster ticket jpg) inviting me to a movie night this Friday wherein they were showing…Equilibrium! It's a bit of a hike, Michigan to Massachusetts but also an oddly awesome coincidence. What are the odds that I'd both show up on the e-mail string AND they would have picked Equilibrium to show at their movie night? I either need to play the Lotto right now or request asylum in the witness protection program because I think Equilibrium is starting to cross the line between coincidental and creepy.

-Your Friendly and Now Somewhat Wary Promotions Ninja

Ping pong.

Well, it is when you're playing against Bruce Lee.

For your amusement, if the Smithee Awards could sing, I imagine it'd be a lot like this. Check out Bohemian Rhapsody, Word Up and Highway to Hell. Heh!

The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain, while perhaps not as Smithee-worthy as the Portsmouth Symphonia, is still worth mentioning because...Ukuleles!

And also, where else can you hear a good handful of ukuleleists playing the theme from Shaft?

Yes, once again it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day for those of you who need a little 'ARRR matey' spice in your life. I'm hoping the Earl writes up the 'R' movie (Rottweiler) we saw this weekend because that would just be karma no? Did he plan it this way so we'd be watching the R movie in time to write it up for Talk Like a Pirate Day? That's GENIUS! Except for the part where we actually had to watch the movie. If ever there was a movie that had no point Rottweiler might be it.

At least it had a Rottweiler in it.

It's shades of Super Inframan, brought to me courtesy of Google AdWords:

Rechargeable Elec Socks
No more cold feet. Warms your whole body! Great for the sportsman.
www.thunderboltsocks.com

..am I the only one who reads that ad and imagines fishermen across the country dying of electrical shocks as their thunderbolt socks get wet?

While searching teh intertubes for this or that write-up whatsit, I've come across a couple amusing sites I thought I'd share.

First, there's Feoamante who not only does little write-up blurbs of movies himself, but he also has an amusing section about SCIENCE! or the lack thereof in movies.

Next, did you know that there is a Spaghetti Western Database? That's...like...research for us!

-YFNPN

Wednesday, over at the Earl's place, we fired up Python and did us some Smithee watching. I've had this "thing"* ever since we watched Boa vs. Python and I learned that there was a separate Boa and Python movie. How funny would that be to have Boa vs. Python, Boa AND Python on the same ballot? Awesomely funny, that's how funny so I set out on a quest.
( Ssssssssclicky )
*"thing" being defined as an irrational Smithee urge to start collecting a certain kind of movie that has a special Smitheeness to it. In this case it's snakes. I've also been known to hunt down Dean Cain movies and movies with competitive male nudity.