The Smithee Awards Blog

Actually it was perhaps more of the Sultan's nightmare but I had to share. I had a dream we were putting on the A2 Smithee show (ARRRGH! 1800 Chem stairs even in my sleep!) and you all were voting for the clips to not only win the category but to win a date night out. I'm not sure how movie clips can go on a date but that's how it worked. Anyway, one of you didn't want the clip you voted for to go out on a date so you fashioned your ballot as a word search.

I think that's a first in terms of the weird ballots we've gotten and I'm sure the Sultan would appreciate it if word search ballots stayed a figment of my imagination. Don't make me have to bring out the crankiest Ballot Ninja, you would not like the crankiest Ballot Ninja.

We somehow missed International Bacon Day! I'm going to go have a little quiet time now. *sniff*

Because it would totally wrock. You know it!

Yoinked from crwilley, this is just HAWSOME! If I had sheep and sheep dogs, I'd totally be doing this because...see HAWESOME.



Now I want to play sheep space invaders.

Ping pong.

Well, it is when you're playing against Bruce Lee.

Just in case your day hasn't started out surreal enough.

For your amusement, if the Smithee Awards could sing, I imagine it'd be a lot like this. Check out Bohemian Rhapsody, Word Up and Highway to Hell. Heh!

Yes indeed, loyal Smitheeites, it's that time of year again. Spring has Sprung, the frost is here and of course there's free ice cream at a Ben & Jerry's near.

Why does it always seem like they pick the coldest days to do the ice cream thing? Anyway, head on over to a participating Ben & Jerry's, mention the Smithees and get you a free scoop! Actually mentioning the Smithees won't get you anything but it amuses me in an Arlo Guthrieian sort of way to imagine 50 Smitheeites walking in, mentioning the Smithees and walking out.

Just a reminder for all you A2/Ypsi locals that tomorrow tonight is the first Smithee Drinking Night (nite...depends on how many beers you've had I guess). We'll be hanging out at the Corner Brewery this Saturday evening starting at 8pm or what I like to call Happy Hour! Fortunately the Corner Brewery also considers the hours of 8pm onward as Happy Hour. All is right in this world.

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Promotions Ninja

Happy March first all you Smitheeites, and seeings as it is the first of a new month, I think the time is right for some more trivia. This month's trivia question is:

Which of you local Smitheeites would like to join us down at the Corner Brewery for a Smithee Drinking Night?

Your hints are: March 8th seems like an excellent drinking night
and 8pm (happy hour I'm told) seems like a good time.

I'll give you a week to think about it but you shouldn't need that long. This one's an easy question!

Happy Chinese New Year all you Smitheeites. Promotions Ninja here with a little tale of a Guru, a Ninja and their new Netflix account:
( Under the Clicky for the faint of heart )


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Or ask the Smithees "Errrr...what??!?"

Howdy Smitheeites, Your Friendly Neighborhood Promotions Ninja here with a random bit of Smithee miscellany. See, I was dinking around teh LJ intertubes looking at other people's icons and I got to thinking about icons in general. Some of them that you see around are pretty much the duh news...like our trashcan icon. Well, OK maybe not exactly like our trashcan icon because a random person looking at the Smithee LJ icons are going to say "WTF? (OMGBBQ!)" but if you know the Smithees then you know that the golden trashcan is our trademark. Ergo, both new and old trashcan logos aren't really all that exciting. However, we currently have 61 LJ icons and some might be considered...esoteric. For example, take the one I'm posting with. It's...yellow. And we (we being Iron Chef Smithee since this is his icon) call it "That Was a Bad Movie (yellow)". And I have no idea why.

So I asked our Iron Chef, "Iron Cheff Smithee, WTF (OMGmoreBBQ!) is that yellow icon all about? Is that from the Smithee 1KBWC deck?"

And the Iron Chef replied, "Nope! That was me screwing around with MS paint and being amused with the result. It's like the burgers in "Ankle Biters" - that movie tastes like piss!"

Now I know.

So if any of y'all have ever seen us post with an icon that makes you go "Bawr?" or if you've ever wondered why a skull cow or if there's an icon that you'd like to know more about, feel free to ask.

Lastly but not leastly, of the 61 icons, Iron Chef Smithee has created 51, The Guru has created 12 and I've created 1 (however, 13 of the pictures used as icons were mine). Yay Smithee Math!

I am imposing a new decree upon the Smithee Awards, unilaterally and unconditionally. I don't care that I'm not a Smithee Supreme Committee Member -- I am putting my foot down, and if somebody doesn't like it, my foot can go down on top of his with considerable force.

New Decree:

There Shall Be No Flint Knapping at the Smithee Awards.

This is based upon a dream I had last week. The awards ceremony was underway, and there was a guy sitting in the center of the classroom making flint arrowheads -- flint knapping. He was carefully striking his proto-arrowhead with another piece of rock, and a sliver of flint would be chipped off.

Which was fine, really, until he started hitting hard enough that the little razor-edged chips of flint went flying through the air, and started hitting the rest of the audience in the eyes. Which blinded them.

Mind you, I know full well that this is the Smithee Awards, and people might actually be grateful to have their eyes put out mid-show. But still, no one had actually asked to be blinded, and all the hard work by our editing team was going unappreaciated. So, I marched down and took the microphone, and announced that as of now, there would be no flint-knapping at the Smithee Awards. Absolutely none.

Then I told the knapper, with a great deal of irritation: "Why can't you just make chain mail like everybody else?"

So. New rule. Making chain mail at the ceremony is A-OK. Flint knapping, though, is verboten.

Hola Smithee peeps, your Friendly Neighborhood Promotions Ninja here. Just stopping by to say "Hi" to all our new friends (HI!) and also "Hi" to our old friends (HI!) since the smithee_awards doesn't just drop our old friends like moldy hot potatoes once you sign up. For you newcomers, if it seems like the Smithee LJ is a bit schitzo at times that could be because it is. The core Smithee members all have posting access and are not afraid to use it. Sometimes we even remember to use associated icons with our posts which should clue you in as to who is posting. Then again sometimes we don't because we have a lot of icons and are sad when they languish, unused and forgotten in a dusty corner of cyberspace.
( clicky! )

OoooooooOOOoooooo! And also *squeee*! One week left on the countdown ticker until we take Columbus by storm.

But first! Some admin Announcement type stuff: Apparently, in keeping with the Origins tradition, our room has been changed. We're now (for the moment at least) scheduled to be in the Hyatt Regency Ballroom. Huzzah? Huzzah! We'll post signs most likely.

Which reminds me: Signs. Gotta add that to the list of prep things what need to get done. Tonight we finish stuffing all the MegaMeta ballot packs (the Smithee 16 packs are already done and boxed), the buttons are printed but I need to press a good double handful so we have stock to give out, and the giveaways are mostly done (one of them still wants a finishing coat of Smitheeness) but need to be packed up. I think we're pretty good as far as background prepwork. Hopefully.

We also have blank SLM button pics and a raft of colored "sharpies" so it looks like the color and press your own Smithee button is a mostly sure thing. We'll also have cut out button pics of finished SLM, ninja, quote, and can buttons so if you aren't artistically inclined, you can still get a fresh hot button. Look for us sometime Thursday (probably afternoonish/eveningish) in the breezeway deelie. Last year we up and stole a table, we're not above doing it again this year. RARH!

"When will it be legal for the Smithees to drink?" Which meant that I had to figure out when Smithee 21 would be (2012 BTW, also a MegaMeta year. Fitting) Which meant that I had to remember what Smithees we were currently on. And then do math. *shudder* After much thought, because this whole musing took place at before coffee o'clock, I decided that it was Smithee 16 this year and...

wait...

This year is the Smithee's sweet 16! How could I have missed that until now? Awwww, our little awards show looks so grown up, don't you think? *sniff*

So! If we haven't spammed it to death already; come join us this Saturday, April 21st at 7pm in 1800 Chem building and help us celebrate our little show's coming of age presentation.

At least you can have free ice cream today. Stop by your local participating Ben & Jerry's and have a scoop on us! Or...errr...them. But anyway, free ice cream! You can't beat that with a sharp stick.

Only moments ago plus a stop off at Starbucks, I shipped out the miniSmithee box (not to be confused with the box that goes to the Mini-Smithees) to Massachusetts. One week and counting, folks, and we will follow said box out for the first ever Smithees at Smith presentation. Hopefully we have better travel arrangements and less tape.

The box contains more or less 3500 ballot sheets (enough for 184 attendees), a very roughly estimated 70 pens, 60 buttons, 7 atomic fireballs and more bacon mints than should be allowed to exist. Which could, by that definition, be only one mint. If the box rips a hole in the fabric of space/time and disappears forever, I shall not be surprised. We may have pushed the limits of things that are allowed to coexist together without breaking the universe.

On a strange side note, the number of ballots that went out (3 inches of 8x11.5 paper) is enough to cover the A2 show. They looked so small huddled up at the bottom of the box (no doubt sensing the immanent addition of bacon mints), I can't believe that would be all that we needed for A2. You know...if we bothered to count out exactly 19 sheets of paper for everyone and nobody doodled, spindled, mutilated or whatnot their ballot kit.

So, we who are about to die of the local Smithee contingent have been considering doing a sequel night. We have plenty of sequels to watch. No shortage. Nope. None. None at all.

The problem is ... what sort of food to serve?

There are a few obvious choices (re-fried beans, twice-baked potatoes) ... but can any of you think of non-obvious(-to-me) choices? If we can scrape together a decent menu (coughthatbadmoviewilleatcough), then Thunder-Smithees will be go.

Twas the night before Smithees, and all through the day
The Smith-ka-teers were saying, "Tomorrow? NO WAY!"
The show had been watched and fixed where it needed,
even though the base clips are still rather fetid.

Iron Chef Smithee spent Wednesday a shopping
and should have some goodies to keep you all hopping.
The rest of us gathered our things and our stuff,
I *think* the supplies will just be enough.

Then out on my floor there came such a noise
Oh it's the promotions box, sitting with poise.
With pens and the paper all haphazard and such
it needs to be prettied, but I'm hoping not much.

Those who count ballots are flexing their joints
preparing to sort paper and add up the points.
All we need now is a sound check to do
and some paint and some eyeballs for a puppet or two.

Then come tomorrow at seven o'clock
1800 Chemistry we're hoping to rock.
With premise and science and LUtRtR,
A Whoops or a What?!! can not be far.

Help us decide the best of the best
or at least which of the clips is better than the rest.
Have some bad food and drinks of odd taste,
This evening certainly shant be (much of) a waste.