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anonymous maq

Birthday Movie Review: God Told Me To

New York City is plagued by a series of apparently random multiple killings. The only link: the perpetrators, when asked why they did it, all reply "God Told Me To."

We watched this movie in honor of both St. Patrick's Day and pattimst3k's birthday, and it didn't disappoint. On the Smithee front, Andy Kauffman going nuts and gunning down half a dozen people in the St. Patrick's Day Parade was worth the price of admission, and the sudden wry twist really pushed things over the top.

You see, when the extremely religious detective investigating the killings starts to REALLY dig deep into things, he discovers that beneath the surface it's alien babies all the way down.

That's right: the whole film suddenly morphs into a cross between Rosemary's Baby and Chariots of the Gods. It turns out the killings are being triggered by an alien / human hybrid baby who is all grown up now and flexing his mind-control muscles in preparaton for becoming a new Messiah. Also, Moses and Jesus may have been alien / human hybrid babies too. But that's okay, because it turns out that the detective is ALSO an alien / human hybrid baby who was given up for adoption long ago. As such, he is able to resist the mind control, kill the "new messiah" and thwart the alien takeover of Earth.

I think. This is another one of those films that looks like it was edited with a Cuisinart. Plot elements and special effects shots are frappe'd together with accelerating randomness as the end credits approach.

We went into this hoping for a cheesy 1970's detective drama, and got much MUCH more than we bargained for.


That is just awesomely beautiful. It makes me want to weep tears of joy!!! Well, sorta :)