Log in

No account? Create an account

The Obvious Choice

I mean ... come on ... what better movie to watch (yesterday) for weaselboy's birthday than Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.?

None better.

David Hasselhoff is the perfect actor to play a comic-book character. Hoff does "tall" well, and Nick Fury is cut from two-dimensional cloth. Hoff can wear an eyepatch, he can squint, grow stubble, growl around a cigar, and stride purposefully. Hence, he's a great Nick Fury.

At the beginning of the movie, Hydra steals Baron Von Strucker's cryogenically-preserved body. S.H.I.E.L.D. then needs to lure Nick Fury out of his forced retirement. After some dutiful scenery chewing, Fury agrees to return to S.H.I.E.L.D.

He is reacquainted with old friends ('Dum-Dum' Dugan, Val Fontaine, Gabriel Jones) and meets new ones like Alexander Goodwin Pierce (fresh from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s "Kirby Academy") or the psychic Kate Neville (who introduces herself as an ESPer ... which she pronounces "ee-es-pee-er" -- I always preferred "ess-pur" because it sounds more ... continent ... but I'm digressing).

It's a good thing that Hoff's Fury left some scenery untouched earlier, because Andrea Von Strucker (the Baron's daughter) chews scenery like it's the only thing that keeps her teeth from growing through the back of her skull.

And because I was lazy, we were watching the copy of this movie that I taped (before it was otherwise available). Immediately following Andrea Von Strucker's "We will rebuild Hydra!" speech (with lots of pinky-pointing) ... came a commercial for cheese. Behold! The power of cheese! The unofficial slogan for this movie, perhaps?

As the film progresses, a lot of comic-book-fan hand-waving happens. Hydra manages to steal Arnim Zola (a scientist), infect Nick with a progressively-deadly poison (Columbian Tree Frog), and threaten to destroy Manhattan with The Death's Head Virus ("it makes Ebola look like the sniffles").

The team splits up for the last half of the movie, with Fury, ESPer girl, and FNG Pierce infiltrating Hydra in an "insertion strike," and the rest of the team scouring Manhattan to find a refrigeration truck. No, really.

The two storylines move in rough parallel, periodically pausing to give each other time to catch up. At least David Goyer (who wrote the screenplay for Arcade as well as a vast array of comic-book movies) doesn't even attempt to scientifically explain the super-technology (such as the "anti-laser breath spray"), they just use it and are on their way.

It ends with intimations of a sequel, and a bizarre line about how Nick is using a lot of big words for a man with only one eye. None of us were sure exactly what that meant. Maybe with no depth perception, Nick can't see to the end of those long words? Although, we did realize that in the kingdom of the bland, the one-eyed man is truly king.

But I have to give the movie this -- it was entertaining. For all that the power of cheese was beheld, I am looking forward to seeing the new Nick Fury in the new Marvel-themed films, and if there exists somewhere a director's cut of this one, with expanded footage and more Hoff to Hassel, I would probably not wait ten years to watch it.


An excellent choice, thank you! (For some definitions of "excellent", anyway.)

I can only assume they didn't go with the comic book version of Arnim Zola, where he's got like a camera or something in place of his head, and his face appears on a TV screen on his torso? Because I would probably have to watch this movie if that were the case.
No, he was simply an old guy in a wheelchair. Because that would have taken too much CGI from the Helicarrier Budget.


I agree, I scoured the net for months after seeing the movie on Sci Fi to own it.

The sure way to get something released on video for me is to buy a bootleg of it at a local convention!

Then it comes out 6 months later at a cheaper price so I can buy a better copy.

The DVD needed special features, but it was still a good comic book movie overall...