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everybody loves batratspidercrab

Horrors of Spider Island

It's time for the badmovie birthday movie!

What's the swingingest cocktail you can get hip to on film?  Simple, baby!  Take one planeload of chorus girls with million dollar legs, one manly manager with a pencil-thin mustache, one sexy secretary and crash 'em all in the middle of the Pacific while en route to a gig in Singapore.  Don't worry!  Their raft will make it to Spider Island where hijinx will ensue.  In heels.  And with a jumpin' soundtrack.

Spider Island is currently uninhabited - the professor who'd been exploring the uranium deposits recently caught a nasty case of web - so they'll all be able to move into his little cabin and live for a month off of his stored supplies.  And they all brought their own makeup, so there's no worries there.  It's amazing how well it all works out.

Oh sure, there's the occasional catfight.  And the girls' high-heeled shoes aren't exactly the best thing for clambering around the island.  And their clothing will get continually skimpier as it gets snagged on thorns and discarded because of the heat.

But there's a downside too.  Eventually Gary (he of the pencil-thin mustache) will get bitten by a radioactive kitten-spider and mutated into a three-fanged monster with fuzzy, clawed hands.  It's all fun and games until he starts strangling dancers.

Four weeks later, when the late professor's supply ship arrives, it's time to start the party back up.  They all use the ship's radio to call for a ride, and while they wait there's dancing, drinking and both blatant and surreptitious necking.  Of course, Gary is a bit put out by this, but he can't kill them all off before rescue arrives...  Can he?


OMG, Jeff and I saw this movie on MST3k. I am so sorry that you had to endure it straight up. It hurt so, so bad.
But weren't they the cutest looking spiders ever? When the one jumped Our Hero Gary and "strangled" him all we could think of was "AWWW! Widdle spider just want some hugs!"
I like that approach--look at the cuteness of the spiders rather than the horridness of the movie. It's like making lemonade instead of sucking on sour lemons :)