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A deadly plague

No, not the swine flu. I refer, of course, to a certain film. You might recall that in the review of Ice From The Sun, there was an admission that the director did have a sense of style, even if it veered into pretension.

Narcosys is sort of an Australian epilepsy test masquerading as a movie. The stated plot is not really what happens, so much as an excuse for the director to show violence and flashing lights, interspersed with some of the most painfully pointless dialogue known to man or beast (I would tell you to think Tracy & Hepburn by way of Beavis & Butthead, but even that doesn't truly convey the flavor).

Sintax: "Hold on, you two. On hold. Stop feeding it telephone lines, or the next operation will be you."
Metro: "Our talk shows, by the sound of the tone, our time might be up."
Candybar: "I hope we're not disconnected."
Matrix: "Oh, please."
Sintax pulls a gun on Matrix: "Wanna make a new world order?"
Metro also pulls a gun on Matrix: "You want fries with that?"
Matrix brushes them aside: "Shoo fries. Don't bother me."
Sintax: "How's our hangup?"
Matrix: "Still hung up. What did you expect? The crossing guard threw tomatoes? Stupid communications technology."
Sintax: "If Jesus would stop hanging up on the cross, then maybe the call would go through."
And on on like that....

The movie begins with a quick summary of the main characters. Their names all sound like the director chose them off free AOL CDs (Xerox Drone, Orbit America, Candybar Satellite, etc). In theory, the movie is about a woman infiltrating a drug-running gang.

In practice, she runs around with them, filming their crimes (for evidence), while a fifth (otherwise unrelated) character is impregnated by some strange viral robotic avatar, captured by our gang, bound in latex, and hauled around like some bizarre good luck charm.

As the movie progresses, we get these computer-screen inserts (similar to character overviews that began the movie) declaring a level complete, and giving statistics on the movie so far (number of people killed, amount of drugs scored, etc). Is the impression supposed to be that a mechanical overfiend is treating human lives as though these sociopaths were its own private videogame? Nah, that's just my mind trying to impose pattern and sense on an otherwise pointless series of vignettes.

By the end of the movie, our undercover agent has been exposed, the gang has eaten at (dark, futuristic?) McDonald's, and the informant kills herself before her crazy gang leader can kill her ... but after he's killed the other two gang members. Meanwhile, the impregnated bondage dude escapes, only to give birth to a robotic thing roughly the size of a small ottoman (so soon? but he was hardly showing). Then some random hazmat-suited people show up and treat him. Then he wakes up, and wanders around for a while. And we see some mediocre CGI (although in contrast to the rest of the movie, mediocre is of high quality indeed). Then eventually, the director runs out of money (or drugs), and the credits roll. Oh, well. At least I got to see the parking garage from Subterano again....

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