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S is for Smithee

Badmovie's alphabetical movie polls got me thinking -- always a bad sign, and particularly bad in this case because what I thought was, "you know what we need? We need a Smithee A, B, C poem!" Which, naturally, I immediately started writing. But then I realized that anything Smithee should be a collaborative project, so I paused before getting very far. I'll start with the first three letters, the rest of you are invited to continue in the comments.

A is for Ator,
a barbarian who can fly.

B is for Barbarella,
candy for the eye.

C is for Catman,
who always says "fucker."


Z has gotta be for Zombie Lake
which shows us the snatch


D is for Dolemite
It's Rudy Ray, Sucker!

-Sean K.