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Garbage In Smithees Out


Waaay back in the middle of last year (almost literally), we subjected Count Von Count to a birthday movie. Here, then, is its review!

Ah, Atragon.

A mysterious man attempts to kidnap a woman and her adoptive father. Luckily for them, a couple of nosy journalists intervene. The man claims to be filled with mysterious energies, and an envoy from The Empire of Mu, then he escapes into the ocean.

A few days later, a mysterious package appears, courtesy of this man (Agent 23). It might be a bomb! But no -- it's a propaganda filmstrip. The Empire of Mu (an ancient scientific race whose homeland sank under the waves centuries ago) discusses their technological might, and threatens to destroy/conquer the world in order to regain their rightful place.

In the filmstrip, several ranking Japanese military men see a missing submarine. The Mu narrator mentions that the sub was captured, but its crew and captain managed to escape, then goes on to state that they (the Mu-vians?) know this captain is working on a super-secret ultra-advanced submarine ... and he needs to cut it out right now!

This is great news for the Japanese. One of the admirals has been godfather to the daughter of this missing submarine captain. He's not dead after all! They set out (along with some journalists and miscellaneous other military folks) to try and find the super-secret base where this submarine crew has -- for twenty years in solitude -- been building an ultra-advanced submarine.

They do find the submarine captain, and he is happy to be reunited with his daughter ... but he refuses to put his super-advanced submarine up against the Mu Empire. Not because he's afraid of them, far from it, rather because he refuses to assist the world in its time of need. If it was for the good of Japan, he would help. But he still holds a grudge over World War II. After all, he was holed up on his tropical submarine-building island, and he never surrendered.

His daughter's boyfriend confronts him on this hard-line attitude, but he is unpersuaded. The daughter and her boyfriend decide to head back to Japan, but Agent 23 crops up again, detonates some explosives, and kidnaps the two of them.

At this point, with daughter kidnapped and submarine threatened, the submarine captain reluctantly accepts that by declaring War on the World, the Empire of Mu (Mu-ites?) has declared War on him as well.

The Mu Empire is located underwater ... but the captain has a submarine! An ultra-scientific flying submarine named Atragon. The Mu Empire is guarded by a fierce underwater sea creature that the Mu Denizens (Mu-izens?) worship as a god ... but the Atragon has a freeze ray! The Heart of the Mu Empire is seven miles under solid rock ... but the Atragon has a drill on the front!

We are treated to several loving shots of the Muppety-like sea serpent as the inhabitants of Mu (Mu-tants?) worship it via intricately-choreographed dance numbers (which, alas, we are also treated to).

The Atragon's crew is armed with the latest in scientific technology that turns people into really bad-looking murals freezes people solid.

After the captain's daughter has been rescued, and the Mu Empress taken hostage, the fight for the final destruction of the Mu Empire can really begin!