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anonymous kph

E is for Enter ... Zombie King!

Enter ... Zombie King! presents me with an interesting dilemma.

This movie was a really fun movie. It was well-paced. It was exciting. It was witty. It was entertaining.

Is it a Smithee movie?

It had some bad acting (one character in particular is clearly a better wrestler than actor), a ludicrous Premise, some bad social science (which might or might not be better categorized as a "WHAT?!" moment), and so on.

Is it a Smithee movie?

It has the presence of both good and bad qualities, and the absence of anything which would automatically disqualify it. I think the audience (y'all) would like it a lot, and my guess is that at least as many people would buy it as bought Guns of el Chupacabra after seeing the clips from that.

Is it a Smithee movie? I don't know.

Here are the things that I do know.

Ulysses (a masked wrestler) is driving cross-country to meet up with Blue Saint (a masked wrestler) and Blue Saint's sister Mercedes (a masked wrestler) prior to investigating Tiki (a masked wrestler), who is traveling with a group of zombies that he wrestles. Wrestling zombies is so dangerous that Ulysses figures Tiki must have found a way to tame them. After all, the only way to kill a zombie is to rip its head off.

Mr. X (a masked wrestler who works for the government and has topless women crewing his boat) is able to confirm that Tiki's zombies are domesticated, but it seems bigger things are afoot, as a number of innocent bystanders (including Cherry and Blossom -- barmaids, not masked wrestlers) are attacked by a pack of wild zombies.

Our masked protagonists turn loose one of Tiki's zombies, which uses its unerring zombie tracking sense to find its peer group (the wild zombies). The wild zombies lead them to an abandoned amusement park. The abandoned amusement park where Blue Saint's father The Saint (a masked wrestler) was killed by Murdelizer (a masked wrestler).

It turns out that Zombie King (a masked wrestler) is controlling an army of half-human/half-zombies (or ... something ... the film isn't really clear on how The French Vixen (a masked wrestler) is "hybridizing" zombies). And his #1 Henchman? Murdelizer.

The wrestlers are all easily captured. Murdelizer puts on The Saint's old wrestling mask and taunts Blue Saint at a lake, threatening to pollute "the city"'s water supply with zombie blood. Zombie King feels that his Existential Crisis may have come to an end, because he wants to take Mercedes for his Zombie Queen. Ulysses and Tiki and Mr. X are all trussed up (Ulysses like a turkey, with an apple in his mouth).

Then things get a little chaotic. Ulysses attempts to use his training as a philosopher-luchadore to avoid conflict, but it fails.

Ulysses: "You used to be good! Now you are evil!"
Zombie King: "Good? Evil? Are these not one and the same?"
Ulysses: "Damned moral relativist!"

Much wrestling breaks out.

The French Vixen and Mercedes have a girl-fight.

Mr. X and Tiki have a let's-mop-up-the-zombies fight. It ends when Tiki starts "laying hands" on zombies and domesticating them with the sheer force of his will.

Murdelizer and Blue Saint have a you-killed-my-father-why-why-why-why-fight.

Ulysses and Zombie King have a boss fight, which ends only when Mercedes tags into the fight ... and rips Zombie King's head off. The end.

No, wait! Then there's a big party. The heroes are happy, Zombie King is dead, and The French Vixen has been deported. The end.

No, wait! Cherry is reunited with her (now-zombified) love Blossom, and they make out. The end.

No, wait! Murdelizer walks out of the waters of the lake where he vanished, as credits roll. The end.

No, wait! Nah, just kidding. The end.

Comments

Worth watching in its entirety?

Ok, to heck with an anime room, or a regular indy gamer room, we need a bad movie room at Origins where we can see some of these in their entirety!

Is there a way to make this happen?

Re: Worth watching in its entirety?

Definitely worth watching in its entirety.

I like your idea! If we ever get it together and have a Smithee Con, we should absolutely do a bad movie room.

Re: Worth watching in its entirety?

Hmmm....what would it take to set up a movie room at Origins?