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anonymous kph

W is for Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled

Wow. Prophecy Fulfilled, huh? Does that mean the last hour of Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled consisted of the armies of the djinn rampaging across the earth, subduing and destroying and making Bad Things happen to Good People?

Not exactly. But it should have. Allow me to explain.

Our heroine Lisa's boyfriend (Sam) lost the use of his legs in a motorcycle accident. She is meeting with her lawyer (Steven) when she accidentally breaks an ancient piece of art, freeing the jewel that the djinn are trapped in, and blah blah blah -- same as every other Wishmaster movie. A djinn escapes to attempt to break the curse, fulfilling the prophecy.

The djinn possesses Steven. It's another Divoff-free Wishmaster movie, but I have to give full credit to the actor Michael Trucco -- he captures that whole thousand-yard-stare that Andrew Divoff did, and does a very credible job as the djinn.

Lisa wishes to win her lawsuit. It happens. Lisa wishes that Sam had the use of his legs back. That happens. But Sam is still angry with Lisa, and guilt-ridden, and all of that stuff. He goes out for lap dances, and Lisa goes off to Steven's apartment to commiserate.

And at about the 30-minute mark, Lisa wishes that she could love Steven for who he truly is. At this point, Steven the djinn should grant her wish, and unleash the djinn hell upon earth. But instead, he decides that he must win Lisa's love honestly, without magic. The other djinn are kind of pissed off, and their conversation goes something like this:

Djinn: "Dude?"
Steven: "STFU!"
Djinn: "Dude!"
Steven: "SRSLY"
Djinn: "Griefers."

That's right! Griefers. I must have been absent from djinn class the day the Legend of The Hunter was covered, but the cranky djinn warn Steven/djinn that The Hunter has been freed.

The Hunter is a sociopathic humanoid failsafe whose only task is to hunt down and kill The Opener (Lisa) before her third wish can be fulfilled.

There's still an hour of this movie to go!

Steven the djinn alternates the rest of the movie between seeking advice on how to woo women, torturing and killing people for fun ("Man, I wish I was a pimple on her ass" says a friendly bartender about a nearby stripper), and protecting Lisa from The Hunter.

Lisa alternates between trying to patch things up with Sam, and being angsty about Steven.

Eventually Steven kills The Hunter, and makes his move on Lisa ... too soon. She can't handle the truth when he comes out as a djinn. He pressures her to make another wish, any wish. Or to just love him. Love him, dammit, is that so hard?! LOVE HIM!

Sam and Lisa do manage to kill (not banish, destroy) Emo Djinn, but Sam dies in the process. Lisa walks out of their house with only the clothes on her back, and off into the unknown. Blearg.

At least it puts the series to rest. Until the next sequel. Might I suggest Wishmaster 5: Jinn N Tha Hood?