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anonymous maq

Deus Ex Machina

Picture this - you are a character in a bad movie. You've been backed into a corner by an implacable foe. You've exhausted your options. Your doom is inevitable, there is no escape! And then, inexplicably, your enemy keels over dead of a heart attack. You wander off to celebrate your good luck, and all the people who are watching your movie know that you've just experienced a Deus Ex Machina.

Here are the five films fighting it out to win your votes for Meta Mega Four:

1) Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1983) - Smithee Link
2) Transmorphers (2007) - Smithee Link
3) Troll 2 (1990) - Smithee Link
4) Dragon Wars (2007) - Smithee Link
5) Queen of Black Magic (1979) - Smithee Link

2007 Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1983)
Our hero has been set against the champion of the tribe! The enemy is a giant of a man with golden skin that deflects every punch or kick. But wait! Suddenly, the golden giant trips and stumbles against the magic monolith, and just as suddenly he is destroyed in a flash of smoke and a puff of light!

2008 Transmorphers (2007)
Two unprotected humans with handguns against giant missile-armed robots! It seems hopeless! And, indeed, the lovely Karina Nadir is blasted with a barrage of enemy missiles. Then, suddenly a hover bike comes in from nowhere and destroys the two robots! Alas, too late to save Nadir... But wait! Behind that rubble over there! The gigantic explosion must have just missed her!

2009 Troll 2 (1990)
Our young hero is backed against the goblins' Stonehenge monolith, surrounded by the creatures and their high priestess. It's only a matter of moments before he is forced to eat the green jelly which will transform him into a plant - something suitable for the vegan goblins to digest. But wait! What's that in the bag that his ghostly grandfather gave him? It's a double-decker bologna sandwich! Just the thing to eat so that his body would be poison to the goblins!

2010 Dragon Wars (2007)
Our heroes must get their pregnant friend to the hospital, and an armored fiend stands in their way! He proves impervious to gunfire and two-by-fours, and even his own sword vanishes rather than attempting to cut through the spiky black armor. But wait! What's that honking sound? A hefty slab of Detroit steel in the form of a station wagon is enough to knock the fiend for a loop and get our heroes out of there!

2011 Queen of Black Magic (1979)
A torch-wielding mob believes that Murni is the one behind the dark magic attacks on their village, and so they haul her out to a nearby cliff. Despite the doubts of some of the mob, they hurl her from the top of the cliff and into the chasm below. But wait! Before she hits the very bottom, she lands in the arms of a hermit! Granted, the hermit is actually the one behind the attacks, and he'll wind up training her up to be his evil apprentice... But still! She survives the fall.