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Science!

Mega-Meta 4 Category 8 Recap: Worst Science

Everyone knows Worst Science when they see it. It is a statement which causes even the most hard core science denier to pause and say, "Noooo...I don't think that's right." It is a fact that any first grader can easily dispute. It comes with a string of science mumble-de-gook so long your brain starts swimming before the actors are done speaking. When this sort of thing happens, it is more than probable you have just experienced Worst Science.

These five nominees exhibit the best of science gone wrong for their year:

2007: Legend of the Dinosaurs (Smitheed!)
2008: Transmorphers (Smitheed!)
2009: Unknown World (Smitheed!)
2010: Godzilla vs. Biolante (Smitheed!)
2011: Brides of Blood (Smitheed!)


You all know that dinosaurs cause earthquakes and there are frogs and it's all Ben Franklin's fault right? I did that very same project for my fifth grade science fair! Me and Legend of the Dinosaurs thinking on the same page!

In Transmorphers "We found a planet 20 Million Light Years away that had life on it. We sent a message of peace. 5 years later, we got their reply." Which works if the planet happens to be full of Time Lords or hooked up to one giant Delorian but neither is the case here.

In Unknown World the best way to travel through the earth is by frooglegooglemumblewhatsit machine. We won't need air conditioning or even asbestos plating because the Earth is cooler on the inside and full of neat hollow caves and such. Saddle up!

You know what's an undisputed fact about Godzilla? He's cold blooded so when you shoot him full of radioactive bacteria, as you do, there isn't enough warmth for them to grow and immobilize the Tokyo stompin' icon. However, the scientists in Godzilla vs. Biolante come up with a way to use a weather device to microwave Godzilla in order to warm him up and jump-start the bacteria. I'd have preferred they saved that technology for a city bus sized baked potato but to each their own.

Speaking of radioactivity, in Brides of Blood a friendly plantation owner asks the lead scientist if the proximity of the island to the nuclear tests sites might have an effect on the local flora and fauna. Despite being in the fallout radius, the scientist is pretty sure nothing is affected. Probably.


Ponderous!
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