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Bryan eyes

Mega-Meta 4 Category Recap: "Cutting Butter with a Chainsaw"

When the bad guy lies broken and bleeding at your feet, you—-Wait, he twitched! Time to stomp on his neck, decapitate him, cauterize the stump, hurl the body through an 80th-floor window (closed, of course) onto some power lines, then leave in your personal spacecraft and annihilate the planet behind you. What’s that? You may have just nudged his hand with your toe? Well, it’s always best to be on the safe side.

When characters in a Bad Movie choose a wildly overcomplicated or inefficient course of action, or use inappropriate force, we have an award for that. We lovingly call it: “Cutting Butter with a Chainsaw.”

2007: Nemesis 3 (1996) [IMDb Link]
2008: Rats (1984) [IMDb Link]
2009: Bloodmoon (1997) [IMDb Link]
2010: Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave (1976) [IMDb Link]
2011: Bloody Wednesday (1987) [IMDb Link]

Nemesis 3 (1996)
Evil cyborgs are not, apparently, programmed with an “Accept Criticism Gracefully” setting. At least this one isn’t. He reacts...badly. Like "Several Solid Minutes of Punching Followed by Even More Solid Minutes of Zapping" badly.

Rats (1984)
One classic home remedy for the removal of attached ticks is to burn them off with a match. Well, rats are many, many times bigger than ticks. It stands to reason that a flamethrower followed by the judicious point-blank use of a shotgun should do the trick…

Bloodmoon (1997)
The bad guy uses his patented Iron Finger Chest Strike™ to kill his opponent. He then proceeds to dice up the corpse, kick the remains through a paper screen, slam it into a wall, smash its face into a vase, carom it off a desk and then jump up and down on it. Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, then he blows up the building.

Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave (1976)
Sometimes when you’re in the midst of doing something atrocious (like accidentally blowing away your buddy), you perversely can’t seem to stop. Or maybe it’s just too much fun.

Bloody Wednesday (1987)
Our protagonist Harry has had a Bad Week and, on the advice of his teddy bear, decides to take out a restaurant full of innocent people (Hey, who hasn’t been there, right?). What follows is an all-you-can-eat Smorgasbord of bullets, and everyone gets fifteenth helpings.

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