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anonymous bryan

Mega-Meta 4 Category Recap: "Whoops!"

Even if it’s not ultimately received in a way the film-makers intended, the majority of Bad stuff that makes its way into a Bad Movie is put there deliberately. By contrast, our “Whoops!” category is dedicated to those items clearly not intended by the film-makers, but which slip into the production release anyhow. Undoubtedly because the editors are inexperienced (e.g., not at all), are underpaid (e.g., not at all), are actively doing drugs in the cutting room, speak only Oompa-Loompa, or some combination of the three. Er...four.

So be on the lookout for such things as Continuity Errors (“Hey, wasn’t that chick killed a few scenes ago?”), Boom Shots (“Hey, what’s that black sausage floating near the top of the screen?”), Editing Gaffes (“Hey, these credits are from another film entirely!”), or moments of Just Plain Epic Fail (“Hey, was that a crew member’s voice on the soundtrack saying ‘Cut to next scene on the double-beep…’?”). You just might have a “Whoops!” on your hands. (Ew.)

2007: Voodoo Black Exorcist (1973) [Smithee Link]
2008: Metallica (1979) [Smithee Link]
2009: Terror Squad (1987) [Smithee Link]
2010: Mars (1998) [Smithee Link]
2011: The Invincible Kung Fu Legs (1980) [Smithee Link]

Voodoo Black Exorcist (1973)
The mud-faced Voodoo Mummy homes in on his latest victim, an exotic dancer. He corners her in her dressing room and they struggle in front of a mirror. After a nail-file stabbing, some mummy bitch-slaps, and some choking, a mysterious apparition appears clearly in the mirror: It’s the cameraman!

Metallica (1979)
No, not the band. But some hardcore mind-altering substances must have been around when they made the credits, which claim the rest of the cast appears in "Alphabetical Order." Just not by first or last name. Or anything else.

Terror Squad (1987)
A suspenseful night crossing of a body of water. Terrorists! The caption reads "US/CANADIAN BORDER." Ooo, this is gonna be good! Then the next caption reads "DUNES BEACH, IN." I was wrong.

Mars (1998)
Olivier Gruner (yes, that Olivier Gruner) beats up a whiny punk, who then spills his guts as his nose bleeds. Then not-bleeds. Then half-bleeds. No blood. Wait, there’s the blood back…

The Invincible Kung Fu Legs (1980)
It’s the prototypical Final Battle vs. the Ultimate Boss Guy, the culmination of nearly every Kung Fu flick ever. The wispy-bearded Evil Master has the good guys on the ropes at first, but they rally! Suddenly, the bad guy roars, leaps and--! That’s it. Nothing else. The movie doesn’t just stop in mid-leap, it ceases. No resolution. No justice. No Kung Fu Legs. No end credits. It's the same as if

And yes, in case you were wondering, all the above examples were, in fact, based on Whoops!es of Smithees Past.

-Your Host
-Bryan "Allen Smithee" Cassidy.