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Mega-Meta 4 Category 18 Recap: Worst Acting

Worst Acting is probably the most straightforward category of the Smithees. Flat or foaming, we know it when we see it. And there’s plenty of it on lurid display.

Our nominees:

S 16: Max Hell, Frog Warrior (2002) (Smithee Link Here)

S17: The Beast That Killed Women (1965) (Smithee Link Here)

S18: 13 Seconds (2003) (Smithee Link Here)

S19: The Sadist (1963) (Smithee Link Here)

S20: Zipperface (1992) (Smithee Link Here)

In Max Hell, Frog Warrior, Joe Estevez manages to cram into one sentence more pauses, inflections, gestures, and facial tics than a more, errr, traditional actor could fit into an entire Shakespearean soliloquy. Send in out the clowns ninjas.

In The Beast That Killed Women, Dolores Carlos combines a truly grating nasal tone with wooden delivery to create an interrogation that makes the audience cry out for the Geneva Conventions. Maybe it was the script, maybe it was a gorilla. But I think it’s all Dolores.

Sarah Corbin goes to the other extreme in 13 Seconds . She delivers her lines in a monotone whisper, staring straight ahead. I think she’s trying for intense and traumatized, kittens, but the effect is more tranced and stoned. Allherwords runtogether andblurintononsense.

Smithee recidivist Arch Hall, Jr. plays the eponymous villain in The Sadist. Forget the constant threats of violence. Forget the excessive gun waving. Forget the shit-eating, insinuating intonation of “Mister…” The truly sadistic part of this performance is Hall’s sniggering giggle. I almost cried back in 2010 when he won, knowing I would have to hear it all again in the Mega-Metas. I think I need a safe word.

Finally, in Zipperface, Donna Adams can’t decide if she’s (woodenly) playing a world-weary cop, beaten down by sexism or she’s (woodenly) playing a kid on the playground, taunting her coworkers. Either way, her recitation of dialogue slows down a scene that’s already dragging pretty badly. Zipperface yourself, lady.