Log in

No account? Create an account
zarth arnonymous

Roller Blade Warriors: An Unexpected Complaint

Roller Blade Warriors: Taken By Force is the sequel film to a Smithee classic, but in a way its undoing is in its superiority. It has a stronger plot, and less random weirdness. It also focuses less on the Cosmic Order of the Roller Blade. I think that all three of these play away from strengths in the original Roller Blade. And when I say strengths, I mean things which made the first film entertaining.

There is certainly no Return to the Valley of The Nuns in the Tub Go 'Round and 'Round, if you get my meaning....

An Oracle is being escorted by Sister Karin Cross to safety. The Oracle can sense danger as well as infusing people with a sense of purpose, and other miscellaneous minor mental abilities. Of course, she gets snuck up on and captured. There's a group of baddies that need women to feed to The Mysterious Monster In The Stack at Abaddon. Karin Cross tracks her. Sister Karin has to kill some bad guys. No "our weapons are tools of love" for this Roller Nun.

Meanwhile, Mother Speed (a younger woman than the first Mother Speed, and showing a disturbing amount of cleavage) dispatches two other Roller Nuns (one of whom is Sister Sharon from the first film) to track down and return with Karin and the Oracle.

Pretty much the rest of the movie is people walking, interspersed with poorly-choreographed fight scenes.

It does at least feature the following bit of dialogue, which made me laugh. The Oracle has asked Sister Karin Cross what being with a man is like. Karin ponders, and finally says, "It's like a cup of hot soup on a cold night."


People walking? What? No 'skate or die'?

I feel fundamentally betrayed.
Mmmm, Lipton Cup o' Soup...
You forgot to talk about the henchmen with LARP costuming! I could practically pick out the Tremere, the Bruja, and oh! that piratey guy, he was probably a Ravnos!

Strike the practically bit.
Yeah, a cup of hot soup that won't let you get any sleep...