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Movies We're Watchin'

5 Lady Venoms

What happens when you toss "The Godfather" and a martial arts flick into a blender along with a half-dozen scuba suits and some dirt bikes? You get a movie with more double-crosses than an international tic-tac-toe tournament. Fortunately, I started taking copious notes fairly early on.

At an illegal nightclub, Jimmy Lee beats up a low-ranking gangster (mook #1) who is harassing one of the club dancers. As he and his pal Andy are leaving, they are picked up by mooks working for Fong. Fong is in charge of a lot of the illegal gambling and nightclubs. Fong confronts Jimmy about beating up mook #1, but then explains that none of the other mooks liked him and he probably had it coming. Fong offers Jimmy a job. Jimmy accepts and is invited to Fong's daughter's wedding to meet the rest of the gang. At the wedding, Jimmy meets dozens more mooks and another recent recruit named Toro.

Elsewhere, Lao - another crime boss who controls the waterfront - is meeting with his own mooks who are annoyed that they aren't taking advantage of the wedding to horn in on Fong's operations. Lao explains to his second in command Siu that he considers the wedding a truce, since his daughter Angel may want to get married someday.

Back at the wedding, someone stabs the priest while everyone is toasting Fong's daughter. Everyone there blames Lao's gang.

Jimmy goes to confront Lao, who denies everything and invites him to dinner. Jimmy accepts, and they go to a restaurant where Lao gets stabbed in an elevator. Everyone in Lao's gang blames Fong's gang, and Jimmy.

After that, things get complicated.

With Liu dead, Fong's criminal enterprises are getting more diversified since. He converts some of his clubs into brothels and starts looking into importing illegal drugs from Thailand.

Angel begins collecting various female followers who have been victimized in one way or another by Fong's gang. (What is the female form of "Mook" anyway? We'll go with "Mookette.") At any rate, she winds up with almost a dozen female martial artists of various ability.

So instead of the advertised Five Lady Venoms, we've got nearly twelve. Not a bad deal.

Angel and the mookettes start trying to kill Fong on a regular basis. Several of the women are killed in the attempts. Fong's leg gets broken.

Siu and Toro begin to work together on importing drugs, despite the objections of Toro's sister Maggie. Their drug deal is busted up by the police, but the two of them manage to escape. Each of them blames the other for the bust, but it turns out that the police were actually mooks employed by Charlie, one of Fong's lieutenants.

Toro tells Jimmy about the drug deal and they fight. Toro nearly kills Jimmy, but the fight ends when he discovers that they're both wearing the same style medallion. He sends Jimmy to the hospital with Maggie.

Toro tracks down Charlie and kills him. He tells Fong about Charlie's double-cross and Fong thanks him for the information. On the way back home, Toro is attacked and mortally wounded by mooks. Toro manages to make it to the hospital before he dies, where he reveals to Jimmy that he and Maggie are his long lost siblings.

Fong's mooks show up the hospital to kill Jimmy, but kill Andy instead.

Fong discovers that his new girlfriend Cissy is actually a spy for Angel, so he kills her. This leaves roughly nine Lady Venoms.

Jimmy and Angel compare notes and decide that Fong was behind everything, including having the priest stabbed 'way back at the beginning. Angel wants to kill Fong, but Jimmy reveals that he's actually a cop, and that he'll help her stop Fong by arresting him.

Angel ignores him and pretends to be a drug smuggler called "Thailand Kim." She meets with Fong, intending to double-cross him and kill him. He was planning on double-crossing Kim though, so instead of a nice private murder on the beach it turns into a huge gang war with Fong, his mooks, Angel and her mookettes. There's a big knife fight, and a lot of people die.

Finally, Jimmy and the police arrive, just in time to fail to prevent Angel and Fong from stabbing each other. The End.

And after watching the whole thing, we theorized that the five lady venoms of the movie title are the five mookettes who survive the whole thing.