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anonymous kph

A Halftime Report

After looking over my notes for Mega Snake, I realized that I already had five nominees for The Oblivious Award from my "26 Movies in 52 Weeks" project. And since this is halfway down the alphabet (13 movies in, 13 to go), I thought I would take a moment to look at how my nominations for 2011 are shaping up. A totally-full ballot would have 5 noms in each category. A reasonable ballot will have 2-5, but *at least* two decent clips. This doesn't attest to quality, just sheer quantity. Much like The Smithee Awards in general.

As a further N.B., this is not a list of how many clips my ballot has in each category, but a list of how many films have at least one clip in each given category. It's a fine distinction, but an important one.

Most Ludicrous Premise - 4
The Oblivious Award - 5
"Wanna Run That By Me, Again?" - 5
Let's Up the Rating to 'R' - 7
Alas, Poor Yorick - 4
Deus Ex Machina - 4
Stupidest-Looking Monster - 3
Worst Science - 2
Best One-Liner - 3
Worst Cover Copy - 3
Cutting Butter with a Chainsaw - 1
Inane Dialogue - 5
Whoops! - 1
WHAT?! - 1
Acting Appropriately Stupid - 3
Worst Special Effects - 3
Crummiest Ending - 2
Worst Acting - 2
Worst Picture - 2

All told, double the numbers, and you have a fine ballot indeed....


Let's Up the Rating to 'R' - 7

That much gratuitous sex? Wow, sex sells good and bad movies alike!
... and is apparently cheap to find to! Given that the average budget for these movies is $20 I think this leaves a nickel and a byline for the actors and actresses involved.
Funny... The movie I was in was shot on about $200, and I didn't get a sex scene.

The closest we had to "Up the Rating to R" was a mooning and waking up one character in tighty whiteys.

Then again, it's been in post-production hell for 4 years now... Maybe if we had a sex scene I'd have seen it by now. (Yes, the actors themselves have yet to get a review copy.)
As actors, you'll probably be the last people to get a review copy. Sad, but true. I probably would never have scored a copy of Living Dead World if I hadn't worked with the writer / co-director.