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Movies We're Watchin'

419 Feet of Snake and Counting...

Wednesday, over at the Earl's place, we fired up Python and did us some Smithee watching. I've had this "thing"* ever since we watched Boa vs. Python and I learned that there was a separate Boa and Python movie. How funny would that be to have Boa vs. Python, Boa AND Python on the same ballot? Awesomely funny, that's how funny so I set out on a quest.

Apparently, my quest wasn't a burning quest of Smithee desire since we watched Boa vs. Python back in January (19th to be exact) and The Earl watched the next big snake movie Mega Snake mid July. We sat through Boa at the end of July and then this past Wednesday we finished off Python. All 4 snake movies were about overly large snakes (because small, fast, bulletproof, man eating snakes are so blasé) and it got me to thinking: How many feet of snake have we watched?

150 feet of snake from Boa vs. Python (one at 70' one at 80' - double your money!)
60 feet of Mega Snake
80 feet of Boa
129 feet of Python (they changed it up from the original 80' because 80' is so yesterday)
419 total feet of snake watched YTD

That's an average of 2 feet of snake a day. If we want to break it out per person, it's 84 feet of snake per watcher. I haven't yet figured out the matrix for exposure of snake per person but The Earl is leading in that, having seen all snake movies so far.

I know of 3 more snake movies to go on the list: Komodo vs. Cobra, Python II, and Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid but if anyone has any other snake movie ideas, shoot them my way. They don't have to be giant snakes but they have to be about some sort of snake terror. Which is trending towards giant snakes. My only other caveat is that there has to be a measurable amount of snake to add to the collection.


*"thing" being defined as an irrational Smithee urge to start collecting a certain kind of movie that has a special Smitheeness to it. In this case it's snakes. I've also been known to hunt down Dean Cain movies and movies with competitive male nudity.


For some reason, I'm thinking that the line "419 total feet of snake" would be a great kind of "background" line in a rap song. (I'm thinking of it being similar to "22 positions in a one night stand" that is kind of background in the song "Get Off" by Prince)


Or maybe "419 total feet of snake" could be the tagline for "Soul Vengeance."

Um, yeah.

-Sean K.
Aww yeah! That'd be straight.