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FX SFX Special Effect

MegaMeta3 Category Recap: Worst F/X

Yikes. Thursday. I blame Worst Cover in that I was mostly set up to cover Cover buuuut I never got my ducks in a row or my e-notes and my paper notes in one place and now it's Thursday. So instead: SF/X (Worst Special Effect). Do I have to explain? Does the "special effect" leave most everything to be desired? Do strings show? Is it obviously a dummy/model/superimposed? Could a 4th grader do better? Then it should be nominated for this category.

Your choices for the MEgaMeta3 SF/X are:

From 2002: Reptilicus
From 2003: Zombie Lake
From 2004: Black Friday
From 2005: Roller Blade
From 2006: Warriors of the Apocalypse

Reptilicus. First of all, how many giant city stompin' monster movies are set in Copenhagen? Heh. Probably not too many because as best as we can figure the natives turn into cardboard cutouts when they are about to be eaten. Blech! Can you imagine going through all that work of ripping off a roof to a house, dipping your rubber monster head into the kitchen and snapping up the most delicious looking family member only to have him turn into cardboard cut out in your mouth? No wonder stompin' monsters mostly harass Tokyo: The citizens at least have the decency to turn into somewhat tasty dummies.

Zombie Lake. OK, I get that it's hard to actually film in a real lake because of murk and narst and uncontrolled environment etc. and so forth but people! When you are using a swimming pool to simulate your zombie spawning lake at least have the decency to A: Get a big enough backdrop to cover the entire pool wall, B: Choose a pool which doesn't have blatant tile patterns in the walls and C: If you can't get a big enough backdrop, at least cover the underwater pool light M'Kay? And also, a little floating seaweed or maybe painting the backdrop all lakey like would go a long way too.

Black Friday: Y'all remember Poltergeist? How at the end the house implodes and it all falls in on itself? Well Black Friday tries to do implody house too and I have to say that what they achieved really sucked. Does Photoshop have a "Black Hole Effect" button? Something that might make the film look all stretched out from a particular focal point (say from a mansion that you can't afford to blow up OR make a model of to blow up)? Because if it did and then you superimposed a really lame explosion over the pinchy looking mansion and then faded to black you would totally have what Black Friday is calling "House Imploding".

Roller Blade. Speaking of superimposing, but first, a burned out puppet! OK, crisping the annoying evil baby doll puppet on a string was actually more of a treat for the audience, or quite possibly an apology in advance for unleashing a marathon run of the rocket skeleton sled of cheesy blue screening. From the initial Dukes of Hazzard takeoff over a chasm, to the model skeleton sled "flying" through the air, to the wobbling out of control and then finally spinning into the endless fissure (of doom) we're treated to blue screening so bad you wonder if they might have been colorblind.

Warriors of the Apocalypse. Our fifth and final pick for this category gives you the climactic finale battle scene between laser eyed wizards. It's a fight to the death! For humanity! Good against Evil! And actors: Remember to put on your game face but stand really still so post production can paint on laser beams from your eyes. Aaaaaand action! PEE-CHEW. PEE-CHEW. PEE-CHEW. [reaction shot of the crowd]. PEE-CHEW. PEE-CHEW. PEE-CHEW. bah-SPANG [laser eye beams deflect off of each other!] [Reaction shot from crowd] PEE-CHEW. bah-SPANG. PEE-CHEW. bah-SPANG. PEE-CHEW. PEE-CHEW. bah-SPANG. PEE-CHEW. bah....Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Huh? What? It's over? Right then. OK, where was I? Category...movies...cut outs...swimming pool...superimpose suck....superimpose sled...OH! Right. Eye battle. OK, I'm going to go get some caffeine and you guys can mull over your decisions.