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anonymous kph

W is for W

W has your standard 1970s suspense pacing, which is to say that it drags horribly to my jaded late-ought sensibilities. This is not really the movie's fault, it's just a product of its time. As is its star, Twiggy. Did you know that Twiggy is British? I hadn't.

Truthfully, nothing about this film was particularly terrible. The plot was a little creaky, but it did have an interesting twist.

Twiggy plays a highly-nervous housewife. She and her husband are being plagued by mysterious happenings that involve the letter "W" written in dust conspicuously nearby. These have to do with someone from her past named "Billy." A large part of the movie's suspense comes from the fact that the characters know what went on in their past, but we don't -- and it does seem to concern them quite a bit.

They contact the prison where Billy resides, and hire a private detective, but otherwise don't seem to take any reasonable precautions that you or I might take (like contacting police or moving out of their large house, which Billy can infiltrate at will).

Eventually Twiggy's husband is framed for murder, and she's confronted by Billy, at which point we discover the horrible secret of W -- Billy is played by a pre-Battlestar Galactica Dirk Benedict! Regrettably, the acting in this high-emotion denouement is kept under-the-top.

Other than the cover's disconnect from the contents of the actual movie, this movie only tangentially intersected the Smithee venn. Mind you, it was purchased seven years ago solely on the strength of its tagline: "Terror is a One-letter Word."


I read this entire review thinking--inexplicably--that Twiggy = Charo. I kept wondering how the hell she'd have that choochie coo accent being originally from England. Then I realized that Twiggy is a totally different person and I felt better. Then the Lions really truly went 0-16 and I felt bad again. Sigh.
0-16 is sort of Smitheeesque, though. But only sort of -- to be truly Smitheeesque, they should have gone 1-15 to avoid being historically bad and merely remain forgettably bad.
I think they did that last year so maybe they were trying for something new.

BTW, Knock Knock...

[sotto voice Who's there]


[sotto voice Owen Who?]

Owen 16.