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Ninja Grass

Help Me Obi Wan...

Several years ago, we ran across a fella named Brian at Origins who made a game called "Schlock". This game is part Nanofictionary and part Smithee Awards and all fun. We sat in on a game or two and decided that this could be really super fun to play anywhere, except that we didn't have a deck. Brian only has the one but he was awesomely nice and said that he didn't mind if we yoinked his idea and made a deck of our own. We've been back burnering that idea for a while but fate and circumstances (and, quite frankly, lunargeography) have moved the process to the front of the stove. As it were.

In order to play, you have to have a deck. The deck has 4 different types of cards: Protagonist, Antagonist, Sidekick and Plot Element which are randomly drawn by the players. After everyone fills in their protagonist, antagonist, sidekick and plot element slots, the players begin to construct a movie using the various Smithee Awards categories. We're still working on compiling a deck and could use a bit of help. Ergo, I'd like to open this up to our LJ posters to come up with one of each card to help round out our deck. You can cull from your favorites of Smithees past:

Example Roller Blade
Protagonist: A post-apocalyptic roller skating nun
Sidekick: A folksy religious sheriff
Antagonist: A megalomaniac conjoined twin
Plot element: The ancient sacred power crystal is stolen!

Or you can create your own Smitheesque sounding entries:

Example from Promotions Ninja Space
Protagonist: A crotchety old librarian
Sidekick: A warm and cuddly hoodie that's been around for years
Antagonist: A possessed electric stapler
Plot element: All the Dixie cups are being melted into slag

I'd like to test drive the new deck by the next Smithee Nite Out (January 24th) so you have a short week to think up some cards. If they make us laugh, we'll probably use them and don't worry…I amuse easily.


Protatgonist: A bumbling sushi chef.
Sidekick: A female FBI agent with a chip on her shoulder.
Antagonist: The protagoinist's evil twin.
Antagonist: An evil statistician.
Plot element: A stampede of lemmings.
Plot element: Oh, my god! Slugs!!!!
Hey, I want to see THAT movie!
Antagonist: An evil statistician.Plot element: Oh, my god! Slugs!!!!

You are full of win. ^__^
"OMG! Slugs!!!!" is my new favorite plot element ever. I think there should be a whole series of movies in which OMG! Slugs!!!! is a factor.
I also offer this staple of DC commuting as an alternative take to anybody who draws that card: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slugging
I remember some of the Smithee crew stopping by as judges for Schlock this past year at Origins!
Protagonist: a wild west sheriff who is also an empath
Sidekick: A cyboged deputy
Antagonist: a dominatrix/outlaw
Plot element: an undertaker that knows the precise moment you're going to die and is there to catch you

Name that tune smithee-ites!
The Dominatrix/outlaw makes it the sequel. Even better than the original *bl*v**n, in my opinion.
Give that man a cigar!