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In honor of allensmithee

The best part of the film The Second Coming of Suzanne is the Leonard Cohen song "Suzanne." So, if you know the song, there's no need to watch the film. If you don't know the song ... go and listen to it, and skip this movie anyway.

It's only called The Second Coming of Suzanne because Pretentious Piece of Crap was already taken. Basically, this film played like a long student piece made by someone who was enamored with Technique and Ideas over such bourgeois concerns as linear sense or entertainment.

The story, such as there is one, is pretty basic. An avant-garde filmmaker (not Richard Dreyfuss) raises money from some bankers (none of whom are Richard Dreyfuss) to make a movie about Jesus as a woman. The woman he finds (not Richard Dreyfuss) is going out with a painter (not Richard Dreyfuss), who quickly goes mad. Or something. Everybody's mad in this film. The filmmaker (Logan) crucifies his Jesus (Suzanne) for real (on a Big Thick Black Cross), even though she makes people feel light and happy and at peace with themselves.

Suzanne is always shot in soft focus. Always. Maddeningly so. And things associated with her as well. Even when (to pick a specific example) she's only visible in long-shot. On a boat.

Behind the guy she's kissing.

It's enough to make me want to yell CHRIST!

And what was up with the DVD cover? Richard Dreyfuss was barely in the movie! Guess we've got a Worst Cover nom....