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cranky kitty

brightorange14 is older than he's ever been!

Although there was some discussion of watching a visceral movie for brightorange14's birthday, in the end we decided that the perfect option would be to roll dice for it!

And thus, Death is Nimble, Death is Quick was chosen. Walker and Roland -versus- the Golden Cats. But Walker and Roland won, because they had elephants!

You want more depth? Okay, here's more depth.

The movie started out well. Characters acted intelligently, dialogue was clever. And there was a parade in honor of the Buddha. With elephants. Because the movie was set in Colombo, and what's the point of shooting in the capital of Ceylon (now Sri Lanka; unless I have that backwards) unless it's to use elephants.

Our hero (Walker) is hired to bodyguard Babs Lincoln, daughter of a rich American named Jefferson Lincoln. His buddy (Roland) is hired to solve the murder of Babs' former bodyguard. You think their assignments could be connected? They are!

The movie tripped along nicely until they kept piling the characters on. Dawson double-crossed the bad guys (who? oh yeah, the guy who drinks a lot that we haven't seen since Walker arrived in the movie), and it turns out that Baker (a Scientist who was Not Previously Introduced, although we've met his bacteria) had Farrell (the local ... oh never mind, it doesn't matter, he's dead) killed. For a while, there were too many characters who looked alike (wow; all 30-ish white guys in Colombo do look alike), then they pared back via murder until everything came together at the end.

Some good points: when the rich guy pays the ransom, he makes his flunky get a receipt for the money; when the bad people try to kidnap Babs, she escapes through her own pluck and ingenuity; the stunts are realistic, not super-spy; there are logical reasons why local people stay away from the swamp other than "the monster;" at the end, where they use a herd of elephants to block off an airport runway.

Some bad points: when booniverse couldn't tell the bad guy from one of the good guys because they looked and sounded and dressed alike (not that it was a plot point, they just were really too similar); they imply "the hero" escapes too many times without showing how; if the hotel tape records all conversations of all guests, how much of the local economy are they buoying?

I can't decide: the villain whose schtick is the vials of nitroglycerin that he carries and uses constantly; the secret cave hideout lair of The Golden Cats, whose primary attribute is a large three-headed cave carving; the random appearance and disappearance of murdered people's family members.

But the movie left us with the shot of the two female leads walking away, flanking a female elephant. A fitting end(s). Happy birthday, brightorange14!