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bad day at badmovie

lessons for sgtrocknroll to live by

Here are some valuable lessons learned (or perhaps learnt) from sgtrocknroll's alternate birthday movie, .com for murder, featuring Roger Daltrey & Huey Lewis in small roles, and starring Nastassja Kinski & Nicolette Sheridan in actual roles of actual screen-time.

1. People who live in automated houses should not antagonize hackers in seamy on-line chat rooms.

2. The FBI night shift is composed of bumbling fools that rush around at the slightest provocation, but don't even arrive at the correct destination until after everything is over.

3. A firewall is actually a computerized wall of fire.

4. A computerized counter that counts down twenty minutes and a computerized counter that counts up to twenty minutes will stay synchronized on the same numbers, even though one starts at 20:00:00 and the other at 0:00:00.

5. A cut that deep across your wrist will kill you in twenty minutes. Precisely twenty minutes (see point #4).

6. (and this should really go without saying) Even if you are a cheeky Brit, do not (I repeat) do not (I reiterate) do not (I shout) DO NOT name your household-controlling-computer "Hal." Just don't do it. Just don't.

7. Poseur hacker boys who name themselves after characters in Goethe get offed by God in the end. As it should be.