?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Kung Fu instead of Ethics

And Now...How to Make a Monster

Evidently it takes us a long time to recover from watching movies: Poor moondispatches has been waiting for more than a week for the official birthday movie review.


Worst Acting
Let's Up the Rating to 'R'
Best One Liner
Oblivious
Acting Appropriately Stupid
Worst Science
Worst Special Effect
Crummy Ending.

There ya go.

Nahhh...only kidding.
Worst Acting
Let's Up the Rating to 'R'
Best One Liner
Oblivious
Acting Appropriately Stupid
Worst Science
Worst Special Effect
Crummy Ending.


BWA! OK, OK for reals. This was a pretty decent B flick and guess what? The acting clip doesn't come from pro wrestler turned actor Tyler Mane. Color me surprised. The basic plot of our monster movie (in which the monster is done well enough not to score a Worst Monster Nom) is that a dirt bag scum game developing company needs to come out with a scary first person shooter type of fantasy game. Enter the misfits of programming who can finish the game in three weeks after the first development team is fired.

Incidentally, I think the fist development team went on to create Spore and probably made a lot more money than the Misfits of Programming.

Anyway, a bolt of lightning hits a transformer and blows out some worst science that animates the motion capture suit. The motion capture suit is controlled by the server which is...playing the game. How many people saw that coming? 10 Smithee points for all of you. Yes even you in the back. This is also why the first development team made more money on Spore: Their creation wasn't trying to hack people apart and build a better walking motion capture suit with the body parts. Hey, what's a good suit if you don't have the body to fill it right? Right!

Suit goes walkies, people die gruesomely and I TOTALLY called the Giant Fish Tank win. 10 points for Your Fish Precognitive Promotions Ninja. Score. And in the end, the big moral lesson is that good guys don't win because the world is full of mean and ugly and nice guys always finish last. Meh.

Lastly, in case you were wondering what role Julie Strain played (she of Queen B fame in Guns of El Chupacabra) the answer would be: Julie Strain. She played herself being "hired" for the model in the motion capture suit. Which, of course, has to be modeled in the nude. Of course it does. Awesome.


Happy muchly belated birthday movie writeup!

Comments